|
|
Post by Simone Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 8:54:05 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] These wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From your t-shirt on my floor to the places where we were
I miss you so much sometimes I talk to you alone
The real world sets in but I wont let the end begin
So I keep holding on until the darkest hour
It was still dark when the coldness of the bed beside her woke Simi. For a moment, she reached sleepily across the lonesome expanse next to her and then sudden awareness popped her eyes wide open. Pushing locks of tawny hair out of her face, she struggled to sit up and look around for her husband. Only, she didn't need the silence to tell her he was gone. There was an emptiness in the very air that told her that she was alone and her heart seized in mindless panic.
No... No.. He couldn't be gone. He wouldn't have left her like this.
And then her eyes fell on the note laying on Ry's pillow and her whole world shattered irreparably in that moment. Because she knew what that note meant and, like some damned martyr, she knew he'd gone off to face his fate alone. Left her to raise their babies by herself and mourn him for the man he'd been. To make her a widow after barely being a wife. He'd obviously known yesterday that they had finite time and he hadn't told her. Knowing him, he hadn't wanted to burden her with the knowledge but now regrets swamped her. Regret for falling asleep. Regret for not loving him one last time. Regret for the loss of precious minutes she could have spent mesmerizing the beat of his heart and the heat of his body against hers.
Most of all, regret for all the lost dreams that lay shattered around her in the bed they'd made love in.
Without conscious thought, Simi crawled from what was once a haven and pulled on the tshirt Ryder had worn the day before. Maternity short bibs came on mechanically and then she was padding through the hall and down the stairs. Dawn was just breaking over the horizon when she picked up her cell and hit speed dial to Ry's phone and only received his voicemail. With a tremor voice, the young mother to be left him a message that she wasn't sure he'd ever even listen too.
“Ry..... I love you.... You should have woke me..... God, I love you so much.... If you hear this message know that you are my heart and soul..... I..... Just … I love you....”
Unable to say the word goodbye, she finally hung up the phone and stared at it listlessly. Then, absently, she dialed another number and got another voice mail. Again, she left a shaky message.
“Sebastian.... I need you... Please come.....”and then hung up yet again.
Standing there helplessly in the foyer, Simi turned to see the brilliant glimmers of the sun breaking through the gloom of early morning. Not knowing what else to do, she went to the front door and opened it before stepping out on the porch. The familiar sight of Ry's Jeep greeted her and for a moment... She felt a glimmer of hope.
Breaking into a run, she tripped down the front steps and across the lawn. Throwing open the gate, she ran to the vehicle and yanked furiously upon the door until it flew open and almost dumped her on her ass. Without realizing it, Simi started to cry as she stared into the empty seat. For a long moment, she simply stood there looking and then she climbed inside and curled as best as she could into a ball in the drivers seat. Later, she wouldn't be able to say how long she sat there like that but the sun was already heating everything to a hot summer swelter when she finally was forced to leave her spot.
As if on autopilot, she slipped from the jeep and back into the house only as far as the front hall where she collapsed in a boneless heap against the wall. And there she stayed until the day turned to night and then to morning again. The sound of a voice shouting her name brought her out of her trance and then front door blew open. Even that though didn’t elicit a reaction as she turned dead eyes upon the intruder and simply stared.
Right up until what he carried registered and then her whole world shattered into a million pieces.
TAGGING-Ben, Sebastian, open to plot peeps!. WORDS-588. OUTFIT. |
[/color] TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.[/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ben Isaac Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 13:18:40 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Sing the anthem of the angels And say the last goodbye - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The ride back from Lexi’s cabin didn’t seem as long as it had going there. All of the fear, the dread, the what-if’s; they were all gone, leaving silence in their wake. The Impala’s familiar purr sounded as she surged down the empty back country road, gravel flying in every direction. The sun was just starting to rise over the trees behind them, and the driver urged his engine faster, as if running from the light.
It was the silence, the stillness, that threatened to break him. Stalwart stoicism kept the tears in the back of his eyes and the pain of grief curled up in his chest. He could deal with them later, when the journey was over.
He had to take his brother home to his wife. He’d promised…he’d promised that Ryder would go home.
The broken body in the backseat was still, lifeless. Glancing at it in the rearview mirror, Ben had to grip the steering wheel until it groaned under his fingers, to keep from crying out. His voice had dried up from yelling at the ceiling; he had no more strength for grief. A flash of morning light lit up the bloodied face and for a moment, he could see those familiar, humor-filled eyes dance; he could almost hear that ‘HAHA, GOTCHYA BEN!’ as what had been lifeless jerked upright. But the moment never came. His baby brother was dead.
He paused at the end of the newlyweds’ driveway, taking a gulp of blood-scented air. He felt numb, emotionless as he slowly parked in front of the house and unfolded himself from the car. Gently, almost reverently, he hefted his brother in his arms, and opened the front door.
He’d expected to find Simi waiting for him; Ryder and his wife seemed to be so much in tune with one another, he knew she’d be close to the door, as if expecting her husband to walk through. Slowly, he knelt down in front of her and laid his brother’s body down.
“I’m so sorry, Simi,” He breathed, throat blocked by the emotion he was trying so hard to keep at bay. “I tried…he fought so damn hard to stay with you. But they…I’m so sorry, Simi. So, so sorry.”
|
|
|
|
|
Post by Simone Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 14:15:58 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] All of my memories keep you near your silent whispers, silent tears. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From your t-shirt on my floor to the places where we were
I miss you so much sometimes I talk to you alone
The real world sets in but I wont let the end begin
So I keep holding on until the darkest hour
Oh God... Oh God... Oh God... This wasn't happening. It was just some sort of awful joke. That wasn't Ryders body hanging limply in Bens arms. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Because if it was Ry... then he was gone. Dead. And Ry would never have left her. Her or their unborn babies.
Unfortunately, as hard as she tried to convince herself those facts were true, she was much to honest to lie to even herself. Her logical side knew that if there were any life to be found in that shredded vessel, Ben's expression would have been different.
The body that had once held the life breath and soul of the man she loved was empty. As if he'd never existed at all.
Without thought, Simi struggled to her feet and stumbled forward, reaching for the dangling hand that was limp with death. Even before she touched it though, she knew what she would find and the cold that radiated from the skin broke the fragile hold she had on her emotions.
With a sob that racked her whole frame, she threw herself at the corpse and clung to it, dragging both Ben and the body to the ground as strength left her limbs and they landed in a heap. Without care for the blood and gore that laid waste to the body, the young wife clung to what remained of her husband and cradled him to her chest. Kissed reined on the bloody brow but hot tears washed trails of grief across his chilly skin. Her quiet denials didn't even register in her own mind until the anger set it and she turned on the bearer of the news with a ferocity that was neither logical nor truthful. All she knew was the horrible sensation of heartbreak and the fury that came with the loss.
"YOU!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO PROTECT HIM!!" she spat out, lashing out at the only person available to spit her pain at. "YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO KEEP HIM SAFE!!!HOW COULD YOU NOT KEEP HIM SAFE??"
Then, wilting as if even that was to much, she curled her body in a ball as much as she could around her husbands body and lost herself in the grief. The high, keening wail that came from her was haunting in its pain.
TAGGING-Ben, Sebastian, open to plot peeps!. WORDS-588. OUTFIT. |
[/color] TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.[/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ben Isaac Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 16:32:40 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Sing the anthem of the angels And say the last goodbye - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ben couldn’t meet her eyes; not when that wail of anguish escaped her, or when she brought him to his knees, holding onto his brother so. He couldn’t see the desperation, the agony, the disappointment; he couldn’t see that in her eyes, or he would lose it. All of the walls he’d built around the grief in his chest would crumble away, and he would be as useless to her as he had been to his brother.
Wordlessly, he let her drag the body against hers, and without a reply, he listened to the venomous words as they hit home. All he could think of was ‘thank God, I’d buttoned his jacket closed. She shouldn’t have to see the hounds did to him.’
It was almost sickening; the sounds that the body made, as Simi clutched it to her chest, rocking it slowly back and forth. Surprisingly, Ryder’s face was the only unmarked part of him; clean and boyish as ever. For a second, he couldn’t help but think him faking yet again, and expect him to leap up with that familiar, humor filled smile. But he didn’t.
“I tried,” He whispered, knowing that the words were as lame in meaning as they were in sound. He’d promised that he would keep Ryder safe, and he’d failed. His worst fear had finally come to pass; their way of life had taken one of his beloved family.
It should have been YOU; the words hung in the air between the two, and the Hunter cringed in its stead. It should have been him, the unattached one, the reckless one. Not Ryder, who had been meant for so much more. Not the future father, the husband, the fun loving younger brother.
Clenching his jaw to keep the wall in his chest sturdy, he forced himself to look up at Simi, to remember the grief he saw on her face. Without another word, he pushed himself up and walked around Ryder’s still body, falling to his knees beside her. She would fight him with more cutting words and physical force, but that was to be expected. Wrapping her securely in his arms, he pulled her away from the bloody body on the floor and held her.
Let her take out her anger on him; it was alright…he couldn’t feel anything, anyway.
|
|
|
|
|
Post by Simone Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 17:45:29 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] All of my memories keep you near your silent whispers, silent tears. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From your t-shirt on my floor to the places where we were
I miss you so much sometimes I talk to you alone
The real world sets in but I wont let the end begin
So I keep holding on until the darkest hour
God, how was she suppose to go on? How was she suppose to live without the very reason she drew breath? How was she suppose to get through the days to come knowing she'd never see that dimpling smile again? That she'd never hear the sound of his chuckle following after her as she dashed through the house? That his kiss would never again wake her from a lazy afternoon nap and she'd never again get to rest her cheek against the safe haven of his beating heart?
The very thought was more than she could bare. It was all she could do to hold on to what was left of her beloved husband and not scream at the gods for what they'd taken from her. Without conscious thought, her hands roamed down his blood soaked frame and her sobs caught in her throat.
"I've got to bandage him... He needs to be bandaged.." she choked out illogically. "We can't leave him like this...."
And then, she felt arms trying to pull her away from what little remained of Ryder and it broke something in her. Acting on pure animalistic impulse, she whirled on Ben and snarled. Lashing out with all of her minimal physical power, she shoved him in the chest and struggled to pull away.
"NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LET ME GO!!! I HAVE TO HELP HIM!!" she cried out, struggling against his embrace even as she struck out wildly. "HES BLEEDING!! I HAVE TO STOP IT!!! LET ME GO!!!"
With that one illogical thought in mind, Simi fought Ben's hold until she was to exhausted to move any longer. Then, she sank into his chest and buried her face like a child. Sorrow, pain and disillusionment cracked her voice as she finally subsided and whispered in a broken tone.
"He's gone, Ben... He promised he wouldn't leave me.. and he's gone... What am I suppose to do now? What am I suppose to do now?"
TAGGING-Ben, Sebastian, open to plot peeps!. WORDS-588. OUTFIT. |
[/color] TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.[/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ben Isaac Winchester on Jul 28, 2011 19:16:30 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Sing the anthem of the angels And say the last goodbye - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ben had to grit his teeth to keep the sounds in his throat bottled up. Simi wasn’t making sense, but he knew it was the disbelief, the grief talking. She didn’t know what she was saying; she just wanted to help her beloved. It was enough to break his damned heart, if it hadn’t died hours ago.
Ignoring the flash of pain in his sides when she fought him, he kept his arms securely around her. He rocked her slightly, ignoring her yells and falling back on his haunches when she tried to jerk away. He just kept murmuring soothing words, keeping his voice low and calm; hell, he didn’t even know what he was saying…he just wanted her to stop. To let it all out.
When she did, he held her close, cradling her against his chest. He rocked her again, remembering times in the past when he’d done the same. Staying over at Lexi’s house in his youth had entailed being attacked by the young practical jokers of the James family, but he’d never minded. Bas would go off with his friends, and he’d relax on the couch, watching cartoons with Simi.
He remembered one night in particular, when he’d stayed up to watch a horror flick on the late night channel. A sniffle behind him had alerted him of a ‘little person’s’ presence and he’d immediately clicked the remote, until a cooking show came on. Turning, he saw Simi with the largest teddy bear he’d ever seen, half dragging on the floor.
“What’s wrong, squirt?” He’d asked, hefting her up onto the couch beside him.
“I had a bad dream,” The girl had informed him, leaning into his side. “I dreamed that monsters came into the house.”
He’d put his arm around her little shoulders and hugged her. “Well, that’s never going to happen,” He’d said, looking down into those somber eyes. “Because I’m gonna sit out here all night and make sure the monsters don’t come anywhere near you. That’s my job, you know. Making sure no monsters will ever hurt you.”
The memory made him clench his jaw and tighten his arms around her slightly. That promise had been made to all of his siblings and the younger children he considered an extension of his family. He would protect them with everything he had, alongside their parents. The monsters would never get to them, because he wouldn’t let them.
But not this time. This time, he’d failed Ryder and Simi both.
“We get him back,” He said, surprising himself with the iron in his voice. “I don’t know how just yet, but I swear to you, Simi…he’s gonna come back to you.”
|
|
|
|
|
Post by Simone Winchester on Aug 2, 2011 11:15:32 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] All of my memories keep you near your silent whispers, silent tears. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From your t-shirt on my floor to the places where we were
I miss you so much sometimes I talk to you alone
The real world sets in but I wont let the end begin
So I keep holding on until the darkest hour
On some level, Simi was aware of Ben's holding her and his comforting whispers but she simply could not compute them. The pain in her soul was much to deep to be assuaged by mere words and she struggled against the truth even as she knew the reality. Had known the reality of the circumstance all along even as she'd valiantly tried to believe some miracle would come to pass. Holding on to the older man for dear life, she sought to find some safe harbor from the storm like she had when she was younger but... For the first time ever, Ben's presence failed to chase the nightmare away.
Ry was gone and with him he'd taken what seemed like her very will to exist.
And then the pain struck. For a few seconds, Simi thought it was just another side of the pain in her heart. Drawing in an inward breath, she hissed as another band hit and her stomach tightened. Crying out, she clutched at Ben and placed a hand to her middle where her babies rested. Instantly, the pain of Ry's death was surpassed by fear for their children.
"Oh God... Ben!!!! The babies..." she choked out, trying to breath. "Its too soon.... Its too soon...."
Panic radiated through her voice as she struggled against the tide. Grief, horror, and fear gripped her even as she knew it was just making things worse. Unfortunately, all her rising emotions made the house rattle and the pain increase. No longer able to control her thoughts and fears,her magic was escalating inside of her in a tide that threatened to drown her.
TAGGING-Ben, Sebastian, open to plot peeps!. WORDS-588. OUTFIT. |
[/color] TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.[/div][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ben Isaac Winchester on Aug 11, 2011 22:17:41 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] Sing the anthem of the angels And say the last goodbye - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Holding onto her firmly, Ben waited for the slew of angry words to start up again. Her words were still ringing in his ears, along with a few choice ones of his own, until he could hardly hear anything else. He made his hold on her firm, yet gentle; there, just in case she tried to yank herself away and do something stupid.
Like try to wake the body on the floor. God, but he wanted Ryder to get up; scare them with the fake blood and movie-style gashes. Wake up, damn you! Wake up!
As horrible as it might sound, he felt almost relieved when Simi shoved herself away and started yelling at him. The noise, the adrenaline that kicked through his body at the fearful, pained look on her face made him forget for a second the other emotions beating at the dam in his head. He reacted on instinct, on experience, and was at her side in an instant.
Her hands were on her belly and he didn't have to ask her where it hurt. Shit, man! No WAY in Heaven or Hell were his niece and nephew going to suffer any kind of fate. Not when their father wouldn't be there to greet him. Without a thought, he bent down and scooped her up in his arms, practically running for the Impala.
"Lemme get you to the hospital, alright?" He said, voice tight. Practically kicking open the door, he settled her in the back seat and leaped into the driver's side. Gravel flew everywhere as he tore down the drive and onto the empty street beyond. What he wouldn't give for a pair of flashing lights and a siren right about then!
In the back of his mind, a voice whispered that he was leaving his brother on the floor in the house, but he couldn't let himself care. There wouldn't be any cops peeking in any windows, and at the moment...he had to focus on something else, or he'd break down right there. Reaching over, he grasped Simi's hand across the console and gave it a squeeze.
"Almost there, darlin'," He promised her, shooting a concerned look her way. "You're gonna be fine."
The same words he'd given her husband, only a few hours ago. Jesus Christ, he needed a drink. And then some.
In no time, they'd reached the hospital; more thanks to his breakneck speed than the lack of traffic. He practically threw an attendant out of the emergency doors when he ran inside and followed his sister-in-law on the gurney they wheeled out, until the nurses stopped him. Straining against an orderly's firm hold, his eyes locked on the swinging doors leading to the emergency room.
Please let her be okay, he silently begged Whoever was listening. Without taking his eyes off those doors, he slipped out his cell phone and started to dial. Simi needed family; needed her loved ones around her, to get her through this.
Him? He needed to leave. To run.
To shed blood, for the blood he'd lost.
((Okay! I think this'd be a good time for Bas to show up. Ben would have stayed until he came, and Dean/the Winny/James family came, then snuck out the back. WHOOT, and the drama progresses! >D ))
|
|
|
