Stupid Cupid, Quit Picking On US!

[Jessica Coulter]

Continued from YOU, ME and the MONSTER BETWEEN US

Jessie:

And that was how..... Two days later, a few hundred miles away and crashed in the softest bed she'd ever known, Jessie Coulter woke up with a really bad hangover, a sparkling diamond ring and a new last name. Yeah, just like that.. the honeymoon was over.

"JERICHO DEVOUX!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO???" was the first exclamation out of her lips after she sleepily registered the goodlooking devil at her side and then sat straight up in bed. "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! What the HELL did WE do??"

Unfortunately a quick glace at the rock on her left hand confirmed that they had, indeed, said those evil little words in front of a bonifide Presley priest and it wasn't all just some sort of a bad acid trip. Searching her mind frantically, she remembered clearly the bat out of hell drive to Vegas, the quick ceremony, and.. oh my lord.. the even better honeymoon night booked in the fanciest suite they could fine. That thought made her steal a quick look at were Jericho was suddenly up with much the same expression she suspected she was wearing herself.


Damn, the man looked fine even wearing nothing but his birthday suit. Ok, stop drooling, Coulter.. this wasn't the time or place for lusting after ones spouse.

Jerking her gaze away, Jessie practically lept from the bed as she tore the sheet with her and frantically began looking for her clothes. Unfortunately, she only found the sexy little white dress she'd been married... OH GOD, yes.. MARRIED.. in. However, beggers couldn't be chooser so she pulled it over her slim curves and grinned as she spied the knee high white boots she'd gotten to go with it. At least she hadn't be TOTALLY out of her mind. Her panties were no where to be seen so she gave up that search and turned for the shoes. Snagging them up, she had them on in ten seconds flat before Jericho could even gather his train of thought.

Pasting on a smile though, she took a deep breath and beamed at him. "Uh... Wow... sorry... Morning hangover... Honey... would you mind slipping down to the bar and getting us some more champangne? I'm really in need of something to take the shine off if you know what i mean?" she said weakly



Jericho:

Ah man, he was having the best damn dream in the history of good dreams. He felt warm, from the inside out, and more rested than he'd been since before the war. He was lying in some kind of soft bed, with something warm and smooth wrapped around him. A puff of soft air blew passed his neck, ruffling his hair, and he smiled against the down pillow at his cheek. He was with a woman, and he loved her more than anything else. Right there, in her arms, he didn't feel like half a man, or the anger that haunted his every previous step. He was free...healed. All because of her.

With a little rumble, he moved closer to the souce of that wonderful warmth, nuzzing silky hair with his chin. He knew the moment that she awoke, because her breathing changed and her body became less pliant. But he didn't care; his eyes were still closed, and he lay in that perfect moment with a satisfied smile on his face, and the sense that, FINALLY, everything would be alright--

And then reality stepped in. Goddamn that bitch; couldn't she EVER let him have a nice freaking day?

His eyes popped open when Jessie started to scream, and like a flip being switched, surprise, confusion and utter horror crashed onto his brain like a tidal wave. Jerking up, he practically slammed back against the bed's headboard, hissed, and rubbed at the back of his head.

"What do you mean, what did I do? I didn't do anything! I--" With his eyes about ready to pop out of his head, Jericho caught sight of her ring, and the simpler one on his own finger. "Jesus CHRIST on a crutch, is this...did we...oh my God. Did we get drunk? When did we even hit a bar? The last thing I remember was yelling at you at your car..."

He trailed off, as a wave of something unfamiliar passed over him. He was yelling at her when they'd reached her car, and then...the echoes of love, devotion, and God knew what else tore through him, and he was out of the bed and slding into his slacks in an instant. He was confused, and half of him wanted to start screaming like a little girl...but, instead of running away like that same part of him wanted to, he ended up pulling her into the safety of his arms.

"I should feel freaked, but I don't," He said, confusion evident in his voice. "All I want to do is drag you back down onto that bed, Coulter. God...what the hell happened to us? IS happening to us?" Shaking his head, he quickly let her go, frowning when the lack of contact had a strange pain shooting through his chest. Rubbing at it absently, he scooped up his shirt and nodded at her request.

"Yeah, sure...fuck knows I could use the booze. Just...wait there. We'll sort everything out when I get back, okay?" Not even bothering to button his shirt, he spared one last glance her way before heading out the door.

Jessie:

O Good LORD.. He smelled SOOOOOOO good. The moment Jericho wrapped his arms around her, Jessie truly did want to forget about the rest of the world and just stay snuggled up in this room. However, the moment he was out the door and gone, her brain kicked back in and fear like she'd never had before set in. OH SHIT!! She'd MARRIED Jericho DeVoux! Not only had she gotten married but she'd married her childhood enemy! Two things she'd sworn to NEVER do. For a moment, she wanted to slump now on the bed and have a good cry. Luckily, Jessica Coulter.. eh... DeVoux was a woman of action.. not emotional temper tantrums. What she needed was a plan of action and a clear head. The first would come with coffee and the second with space from the deliciously handsome devil she'd spent the last 36 hours with rolling around in the said bed. Freaking hell, that just made her wanna strip off her clothes and climb back into it like some sultans concubine.

Forcing herself to move, Jess paced rapidly for a moment and then decided there was nothing for it. Finding her purse, she pulled out her lipstick and headed for the bathroom. In rapid scribbles, she wrote "I'm sorry, Jericho, but I've got to go. Temporary insanity!" Which part was the insanity, the marriage or the leaving, she didn't really know but she just knew she hadn't been herself and needed time to sort things out... and find a good divorce lawyer.

Slipping down the stairs towards the servant elevator because she didn't want to chance running into her new husband, the petite young huntress was grateful to see a maid getting ready to enter and hurried to her. A few bills later and an impatient ride down to the kitchen area and she was home free. It was short order to find the Challenger from the parking garage from there and before she knew it, she was speeding out of Las Vegas and leaving the whole crazy mess behind her....er.. or most of it anyways... The flashy rock on her hand was a constant reminder but she couldnt' bring herself to remove it for some reason. In fact, when she tried, it was stuck to her finger like glue.

Well, HELL!

Giving up for the moment, Jessie looked down at her dress and realized she was going ot have to stop somewhere to change. She couldn't be running around in her outfit without drawing some notice and that was when she realized that the back window of her car had something written on it. Blinking, she pulled into a truck station, got out and stood staring in disbelief at the words "JUST HITCHED" scrawled in car chalk. Groaning, she was just dropping her head into her palm when her CELL PHONE went OFF.

[Jessica Coulter]

Jericho:

Moving quickly down the motel balcony, Jericho focused on the walk before him, as he tried to make sense of the jumble of emotion in his chest. On the one hand, he knew that he loved that little firestorm in the motel room more than anything else. He'd always had; ever since they were kids. She was the only one who could take him on every level, who could give him back what he dished out to the world.

The other side, on the other hand, was more than happy to start strangling its twin. He didn't love her! She was infuriating, stubborn, hard headed and the more annoying woman on the planet! AND she hated him! He frowned as he crossed the street, noticing that they had somehow managed to find a motel so nicely positioned near a liquor store. Luck, or did they somehow know that they'd need booze when the initial warm fuzzies wore off? Speaking of which...his eyeballs began to throb as he forced himself to think about the past few days. Why was everything stuck in a haze of lust, love and confusion? He remembered a chapel, remembered getting serenaded by Elvis...before he knocked the fucker off for hitting on his wife. He remembered the way she sounded as she writhed under him, how she liked to have him wash her hair and massage her shoulders--

Crap, DeVoux, go farther back. He tried to remember how they'd gotten to Vegas; the argument in the street, the close quarters and barely contained lust. He'd wanted to throttle her, and then...love. He loved her. Jericho shook his head sharply at the thought, snatching up a bottle of champagne and shoving it at the poor guy at the register. There were a few ladies in back giggling and pointing at him, and with a groan, he realized that he'd wandered outside in nothing but his slacks and loafers. God, he really did hate it when people stared at him...for ANY reason.

Hurrying back to the motel, he resisted the urge to kick in the door, his anxiety was so great. Had their time apart made her as crazy as it did him? Did she remember more than he did? Did she want to stay married, or should they go find a lawyer? God...should he just chuck himself off the balcony and save them all the trouble, or let her kick his ass?

With a deep breath, he walked back into the room. "Jessie?" He called out, frowning at the lack of response. The room was...empty? Squinting, he tried to make sure that his eyes weren't missing a woman-sized blob...but nope, there was no one there. An inspection of the bathroom showed she wasn't hiding in there, and after about five minutes of standing in the middle of the room, holding the champagne and a small sleeve of roses he'd picked up while hurrying back...confusion turned to rage.

And rage found an outlet via his cell phone, turning quicky into outright heart-attack material, when a glance outside showed an empty space where her car used to be. "JESSIE COULTER!" He howled, when she picked up. "Where the hell are you? Do NOT tell me that you just left me stranded in freaking VEGAS!"



Jessie:

The moment Jess opened her phone she knew she was in for it. Her new husbands voice practically was a physical thing as it sprang out of the receiver and into her ear.

Shit, she'd really done it this time hadn't she? She'd been in flight or fight mode and flight had won out before the thought process had kicked in. However, the yelling voice on the other end just made her back stiffen and she got that stubborn,mullish look the Coulters were known for when they were in a tiff. "OH, settle down, DeVoux. I left your wallet and everything so you are by no means stranded. We both know all you have to do is call the airport, get a plane ticket and you'll be back to your own place in no time. So thats not exactly stranded, now is it? " she retorted hotly even as she leaned over to examine the writing and then got a cat call from somewhere behind her because her dress was definitely a bit more revealing than she normally wore. Damn it all to hell.. Where the hell were her other clothes? Her usual bag of changes was missing from the back seat and she could only hope her trunk was still full of the weapons she'd accumulated. Man, she was going to have to stop somewhere soon now and go shopping. God, she almost hated that more than the dress she now wore with its curve hugging material and short short hem that was barely there. Ok, so maybe she hadn't hated it when she'd tried it on and watched Jerichos chin hit the ground but...

Groaning a bit at her wandering thoughts that made her wanna turn the car around and head back to the hotel, Jess forced herself to concentrate. "Look, I don't know what has happened the last few days but something is obviously off.. For gods sake, Batman, one moment we are yelling at each other and the next making out like a couple horny teenagers... That isn't exactly normal, you know? " she said into the phone while the little voice in her head mocked her "Not that you didn't want to do that the moment you saw him again." "You and I? You had just flat out told me that you basically thought I was a ball busting wretch who didn't have a feminine thing about her and then suddenly you decide, out of the blue, that I'm your perfect woman? I think not, Watson!"

Running a hand over her face, Jessie tried to get a grip on the thoughts whirling in her mind. "I couldn't think there with you.. YOur too damned distracting.. We both need some space to figure out what the hell is going on here, don't you think?"



Jericho:

The angry tone of her voice seemed to set him off again, and with a growl directed away from the phone, Jericho mentally counted to ten. If he threw his cell across the room, he couldn't very well yell at her anymore, now could he? And FUCK, he needed to talk to her about how fucking hurt he felt for her leaving. Why the HELL did he feel like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stomped on? What was he; stuck in a romance novel? Something hinky was going on in Vegas, and it was probably a good thing that Jessie had hightailed it when she had.

But did that stop that damned annoyingly empty feeling from taking up residence in his chest? Of fucking course not. DAMMIT!

"For one, DON'T call me Batman," He practically snarled into the phone, scooping up his aforementioned wallet and...fuck, was that a BOX of condoms on the table? His eyes almost popped out of his head, as he noticed half of the contents inside were missing. Huh, that's why he still felt exausted as hell...and oh, yeah, there were a few choice memories that popped up. He never thought that a woman could twist like that, but Jessie had sure proven him wrong...FUCK. CONCENTRATE, DEVOUX!


"For another...I know that this wasn't normal, but we could have talked it out! You didn't have to fucking LEAVE, Coulter!" Dammit, now he was sounding like a 26 year old whiner baby. Awesome. Rubbing at his now throbbing eyes, Jericho sat on the edge of the bed and did his best to take some deep, calming breaths. "What I think is that something must have happened to us in that parking lot, 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't have married your annoying ass like this," He said wearily. "But we did get married, Jessie. Distractions or no, why don't you just tell me where you are, and I'll meet you. Then we can talk like two civilized adults, alright?"

Because he couldn't think WITHOUT her there with him, he thought grimly. Somewhere inside his head, those girlish screams started up again, but he pushed them back with a snarl. With her on the road, away from him, he felt all kinds of torn apart. Half of him was having the irrational idea that maybe she was heading somewhere to meet a lover, and FUCK THAT, 'cause she was his. Another part was sniffling, because he wanted his woman back, and yet another half was running around in circles, demanding when he'd went schizo.

Either way, he was starting to get the headache of the century, and needed to talk to her, face to face. "Just tell me where you are, Coulter, or where you're going, and we'll talk. Get the marriage annulled, and figure out what the fuck just happened to us."




Jessie:


God, how those words hit her in the chest like a ton of bricks. If she didn't know better, she'd have said that her heart felt as if it were breaking but .. Since when had she ever let anyone in enough to do that? Certainly Jericho DeVoux didn't have that sort of power over her... Did he? No way... It couldn't be the sound of that none existent thing called love tearing her soul to shreds. Stupid, idiotic male. He thought she was annoying? He certainly hadn't thought that when she was licking chocolate sauce off his skin and shaking the whipped.... Ok, Not a good train of thought to get on at the moment.

"There is no way in hell I'm telling you were I am at until I figure out what the hell is going on, DeVoux. You make me so nuts that I can't think straight. For all we know, if we come back together... Something more hinky could happen.. Hell, the way we were going at it.. Its going to be a miracle if we don't reproduce like bunnies, man.... How do you know all those condoms worked?? NO WAY! You stay away from me, you hear? You might very well be the sexiest man on the planet but I'm not going to be under some kind of freaky spell or something just to get you to make love to me again. "

That said, Jess went on to the next thing that she felt needed to be addressed.

"You want an annulment, buddy?? You got one.. If you can't wait to get rid of me that fast then fine...Find the nearest lawyer and start the proceedings. I sure as hell won't contest them. The good lord knows I don't want to be tied to a man who doesn't want me!" She hissed into the phone, unaware of the bit of hurt that crept into the words before she took the phone from her ear and slammed the off button.

Stupid Stupid Stupid Man.

It was only as she got back into the car and listened to the cell phone ring again that she realized she had tears streaming down her face. Well Hell.... Wasn't this just the perfect ending to a happily fucking after story.


Jericho:

Man, and Jessie thought that SHE felt like something had kicked her in the chest? When she started asking about the condoms and mentioning babies in that not-so-subtle way, he felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. God...Jessie pregnant, with HIS kid? The thought was as terrifying as it was...holy shit, was that excitement? Pride? Possessiveness? HE WAS SO FUCKED UP THAT IT REALLY WASN'T FUNNY!

It was a good thing that he was sitting, or he'd have fallen right on his ass. He wanted to find her, strangle her and hold her until that hurt in her voice went away. But the worst part of this entire situation? Definitely the fact that he couldn't tell which of his emotions were real, and which was the result of some kind of funky demon-spell that they'd been put under. He'd never felt anything toward the lanky Coulter girl, but irritation and a grudging respect. And as a woman? Sure, there had been that shot of lust that tore through him when he saw her for the first time in years...but lust didn't morph into love so damn quickly! So where the hell was all of this damn guilt coming from? Sure he did hate to make a lady sad, but...look at their situation! He shouldn't be feeling guilt, he should be feeling pissed off for having his emotions twisted around, and more importantly, SO SHOULD SHE! So why the hell was she mad at HIM? And why did she sound so goddamn hurt when she started talking about an annullment?

And why did HE feel so goddamn angry at the thought of her not having his name, and being in the wind, so some other guy could claim her? Jesus Christ, he'd never been the possessive type, but...yep, that was definitely the plastic reciever of his cell phone cracking in his suddenly clenched fist. And those were definitely his molars grinding together at the thought. Holy crap, he was so screwed.

"Jessie, just wait a min--" With a curse, he once again resisted the urge to throw his phone across the room. Practically punching holes in the cracked plastic, he redialed her number, and growled when he got her voice mail. After the answering machine and the beep, he forced himself to leave a message and keep his voice level. "Jessie, I don't want to get rid of you, alright? I just want to understand what happened. You said it yourself; I'm not the kind of guy you'd marry, but in two days, we've both proved that statement wrong. Just call me back, honey and tell me where you are. I feel like shit being so far away from you, alright? Call me back."

He hung up with a growl, running a hand through his hair. He could find a decently priced used car, no sweat...but driving across state lines meant going through traffic, and he didn't trust himself on busy highways. He'd have to buy a damn GPS as well, so he could get on the less used backroads, and somehow track the Huntress' cell phone. Damn her, for being so damn stubborn!

Before he could stop himself, he'd dialed her number again and left one last message. "And just for your information, you freakishly annoying woman, how the hell do you know if I don't want you or not? It's not like you actually stayed in Vegas to talk to me! I mean, running out and taking the damn car with you is a REALLY solid show of devotion. I think I'm getting all choked up thinking about it! CALL ME BACK."

Continued in NeedYOUnow