*--when the past bites you in the ar$e (NRN)

[Makayla Rose Rhys - Damara]

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[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width:200px; height:395px; padding:2px; overflow:auto; font-family:georgia;color:#000;] Notes : Timeframe : Two Weeks After the Honeymoon Hell thread, this is a no reply needed thread leading up to a thread talked about ages ago with Tameryn and how things from Kayla's past comes to plague her dreams and she in general isn't coping well.. *pets her* The days seemed to fade together fast and sleep didn't come easy for Kayla not after that night at the B&B it had awoken something that slumbered deep within her mind. Something she didn't care to remember or relive ever again. It was hard to face the past the past that Makayla Rose very much wanted to forget. She wanted to forget all the pain that had been caused by that one night at the academy a buried secret she held deep, a buried secret that was slowly ripping her apart. A secret that only a few have known. It was a horrible secret she did not want to share. It wasn't easy to talk about and for Makayla the tough as nails chick that will put you in your place when it is needed. Who would have ever thought it would happen to her... she was the one that caused so many others misery on most days and for someone to actually get close enough to cause her misery wasn't something that happened often. She was one that could take care of herself for the most parts and never needed to be protected or was the damsel in distress type and usually fight her way threw things, but something in her during that broken within her and froze. She tried to get him to stop, but it didn't work. The man was a teacher at the academy and he raped a seventeen-year-old girl someone he was supposed to protect without a word it was why he was a teacher at the academy… If he did that, to her how many others had, he done it too. It wasn't a thought that crossed her mind until now as she was sat on her couch cuddling her pillow, eyes swollen and puffy from crying. Crying wasn't something she liked to do. It showed weakness and that was a side Makayla didn't like to show... weaknesses could be played against you. She tried to keep it together, but she just couldn't. She didn't know what to do anymore. She could not sleep; she could not really eat much without getting sick. She had taken to drinking to numb herself, but even that didn't have much effect on her. Her whole family besides her parents and little Tameryn know the truth of what happened to her the rest of the family she didn't want to let them know. Makayla didn't want them to look at her different or feel sorry for her. She just wanted to be her and that is who she has been for ages now. It had been something that took her ages to forget and move on from. It was a reason that she did not trust men too much only those that were close to her that she knew wouldn't hurt her. For this to be drudge, back up again was really taken a toll on her. She didn't have anyone to talk to about this really… she didn't want to tell her parents what was going on... she didn't want to burden them with her dramas. They have enough to deal with all the other families’ problems and stuff no need to tack on another right. She thought she was doing the right thing. She didn't want to burden Tameryn with her issues either... It was one of the reasons the two seemed to butt heads for so long and they just had buried the hatchet and talked about why things were the way they were between them for so long. How Kayla had only been trying to protect her from more hurt... when Tameryn was little every time Kayla looked after her she had gotten hurt some how and she kept her distance so Tameryn wouldn't end up needing to see a shrink or something… It was good to talk to her about things and settle it finally. She couldn't talk to Tams about this.... It was too hard... the only other person who knows of what happened was Ben, but he was off searching down leads on what happened to them at that bed and breakfast. It made her wonder if he was okay. She was actually getting worried and worrying wasn't something Makayla Rose did often. She knew he can handle himself, but what if he went and done something reckless and was hurt? She usually was the one that kept him from doing something such as that, but right now, she could barely take care of herself. Ben told her that he would be back in a week and that was two weeks ago now, and she just wasn't coping with things very well so she hoped that he found some kind of answers. If they find out what happened to them would that stop the nightmares she was having of that night? She didn't know... She just wanted her life back and to get back to some normality even thought life for a Rhys - Damara is far from normal. There is always some kind of drama. Perhaps if Chelsea were here maybe she would talk to her sister that is a doctor about her 'issues' of the past and see if he sister could have prescribed her something instead of taking over the counter sleeping pills that weren't working... She needed something that would suppress the dreams… drinking didn’t do the trick either. All that did was get her smashed and acting like a crazy biotch at times. She was insane when she is smashed to hell crawling in her friends beds to attempt to sleep… having someone close to her seemed to work at first, and that is why she started to go home and cuddle on her momma thinking maybe her momma could make it all go away. It wasn't everyday that Makayla clung to her momma as if her life depended on it. Makayla always was more of a daddy's girl, but right now she needed her mommy...someone who knew the things that happened to her back then, but Makayla had a hard time opening up to even her mother on that touchy subject once again. She knew he momma did enjoy the cuddle times and maybe she would find the courage to tell her momma what was going on inside her head, but she didn't want to be a burden for her either. Her momma had so much going on right now too with her bakery and Reah... Reah wasn't doing so well either with her abilities so Makayla didn't want to get in the way of that either… she promised Reah she'd say nothing, but the parents seemed to start to notice that on their own which was good. Her father thought that maybe Makayla was hanging around because she did something stupid and ended up pregnant or something. He knew she was drinking excessively lately, but that wasn't what had been going on with her... besides her there were eight other kids and grandkids that needed them more. She always was one that could handle things on her own or at least she thought she could make it threw without telling anyone else… about the dreams couldn't stick around forever right? Kayla knew her parents would help her out if she just told them what was going on. She did not want to worry them. Her momma was a worrywart and she actually believed she could make it threw this she did once she could do it again. Though she didn't have nightmares about it ever time she drifted off to sleep nor did she feel as if it were really happening and she was being attacked not like she does now… the walls she kept it behind burnt up and fell down and now she was suffering. Perhaps she should have dealt with it more back then. Something just was not right with her and she could feel that. Something was wickedly wrong. She did not know what wasn't right and how to fix it. Perhaps she was being punished for all the horrible things she has done to people. That was what she was starting to believe too… God was punishing her for her devilish ways... It was hard for her to go outside bad things kept happening to her and she just wanted to stay in and curl up in her bed until it all went away. She didn't know if she could be strong outside of her apartment so that is where she stayed till she decided she could put on a brave face and face people and be who she was before everything seemed to fall apart at the seams. She didn't even want her family to see her falling apart such as this. At least she hasn't reached the state of mind she had been in after the incident happened back when she was seventeen and her little nine year old sister had to learn what suicide was because she had made the attempt of ending it all, ending her own life and her sister to find her bleeding out and almost dead. Despite the lack of sleep within the past two weeks, she had not got to that braking point yet. She doesn't want to put her family threw that pain and sorrow, but what if these dreams kept it up they feel so real, and she didn't feel like she was in control in the least. What if she cannot control herself and gets to that melting point. Kayla had gotten up and headed to the kitchen making herself a drink a nice hard and stiff one, and taking some pills to stay awake this time she didn't want to fall asleep. She had to stay awake grabbing a notebook and a pen and headed back to the couch writing down her feelings and how she is feeling and everything that was going on, and when she takes what medications since she was medicating herself. It possibly wasn't wise at all. What other options does she have? She doesn't want to go to her doctor thinking they will try to admit her to the doctors for tests and what if this was an 'unexplainable' thing or they tell her she is fine. She didn't want to hear them words or worst the third option they try to lock her in a mental ward. She didn't want to go there. She couldn't and they can't keep her there. She glanced at her cell phone to see if she had any messages at all… and kept on drinking and before long it was the middle of the night the clock ticked 1 am. Squinting at the phone her head was starting to hurt now, and she started to drunken text and tried to send Ben a message to see what’s going on. 'Winchester, you ass where are you and when are you getting here? I am worried about you. Ring me back or I'll kick your ass.' ending up sending the message to someone else instead. Whom she doesn't know. Then drunk texted her momma saying ' I love you mommmmmmmmy…’ sending a few messages between the two before she eventually passed out for a short time before the dreams once again got the better of her, rolling off the couch and falling onto the floor . with a thud hitting her face on the floor and causing her nose to bleed that pain waking her from her demented dreams." for fuck sake." she grumbled and tried to stop the bleeding. It stung like a bitch, but she didn’t think she broke it or anything such as that. Makayla held her head back and trying to stop the bleeding, getting blood on her fingers, she sat there and looked at the blood all over her hands, and all over the ring that was still on her finger that she didn’t even bother giving back nor did she notice it till now, she rushed to the bathroom to get cleaned up, washing her own blood off her hands.. Again tilting her head back to get the bleeding to stop, but she was drunk and on medication which thinned her blood, which probably was why it had taken a while for the bleeding to stop. She felt like she was going insane, and did not like the looks of herself. Tear stains were on her face from the mascara running down her face, and her eyes were puffy. She was pissed off and smashed in her bathroom mirror yelling at herself to get it together, but it wasn’t that simple when she didn’t know the cause of them dreams. Little shards of glass were stuck in her knuckles from the impact on the mirror causing them to bleed lightly, but she didn’t notice the pain there was almost welcoming to her and took her mind off things for a minute. What was going on with her it had to have something to do with the crypt, and she did hope to god that Benjamin found some answers on his journey to where ever the hell he was going. If he did not she will be screwed… She really didn’t know how much more she could take. She was easily agitated and getting bitchier as every day passed by. Sometimes reality seemed as if it were merging with her dreams. She wished to god she remembered what the ghostly mist had said, but she couldn’t . She had been too occupied by the skeleton hand on her ass before the misty thing attacked them. She has tried and tried to do research on the inn and a white mist herself, but she couldn’t dig anything up and most leads she got lead to ghosts. It also made her wonder if he was suffering some kind of effects too since she was suffering so badly. Was this why she hasn’t heard from him yet? A raging storm was brewing and the sky lit up, her lights flickering every so often, and she kept seeing the guy from her dreams the guy who raped her and she became to freak out, and took off her shirt still bloody , her knuckles bleeding and she ran she ran out into the rain. Silent tears spilled from her eyes, she headed to her once child hood home. Perhaps there she would feel safe and she just couldn’t stay in her apartment. She didn’t bring anything with her and left her clothes her phone everything there. She could get it tomorrow when the sun is up right now she just had to get away… She hoped that someone was home it had to be a little after 3 am now so someone had to be in just they were all probably asleep. She didn’t want to wake anyone else up. She’d feel horrible if she did. She just didn’t know where else to go and Tameryn’s was the closest so that is where she headed in the pouring rain shivering softly as she made her way to the childhood home.

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