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Post by Chevrolet Winchester on Dec 3, 2010 11:35:32 GMT -5
Well hell, life did like to just rush on past you, didn’t it? Chey couldn’t believe that December was nearly here. Before they knew it they were going to be wrapping Christmas presents. God only knew what the plan was for the day this year. It was so up in the air. She’d missed Christmas last year and it wasn’t the same, in fact it was quite miserable. For every problem that was solved for Chey the last year or so, another problem arose. The youngest Winchester wasn’t known for complaining about her luck, in fact quite the opposite. Unless you knew Chey really well it was virtually impossible to see anything but the smile she painted on for the world. She was troubled and insecure but at least one of those problems was slowly getting better with a certain guy in her life making every effort to make her feel amazing. Every day with him made it harder. She knew she was keeping secrets and more importantly, she knew he hated them. It had been another bad day. Another day when she sat there wondering about the what ifs. It was one of her biggest downfalls, Chey spent far too much time stressing things she couldn’t change. Chey knew that it was one thing more than anything pulling her down now. One big problem. She knew Ryder was alive, her dad wasn’t hunting as much and Ben had been checking in with her daily so she didn’t go all emotional on him again. Yet the one thing Chey couldn’t seem to fix was the fact every day she missed her daughter. She knew she couldn’t go the real route of trying to find her. In fact she barely felt like she could do anything. She was considerably good at doing what was best for others and not herself but this? She wasn’t sure how she would cope with knowing where her little girl was and not be able to do anything.
There was a sense of restlessness in Chevrolet as she sat alone in her bedroom. She laid across the bed, clicker in hand and the television changing channel every couple of moments as the troubled brunette decided whatever was on didn’t look any good. She was getting so desperate she’d even resorted to watching herself wiggle her toes. It was nice to actually be able to do so. After falling out of the sky and living with a broken leg for weeks, it was actually nice to be able to do anything with her leg, especially walk without crutches. She continued to watch her feet as she flicked, no longer even paying attention to the TV until she heard it. The sound of crying filled the room and Chey turned her eyes up to look at the screen once more. The small child on the screen tugged at her heart as it was bundled into its mothers arms. Her arm reached out towards the draw beside her bed, pulling out a compact mirror she kept in there, opening to and pulling out the folded picture inside. To look at her gorgeous little girls face, Chey didn’t know how she managed to give her away. How did she hand her over? Why didn’t she do what she wanted? After twenty two years of doing everything for other people, why didn’t she stand up for the one thing she’d always wanted more than anything else? Suddenly Chey’s eyes darted to her laptop and placing the picture onto the cabinet besides her she lifted herself up to go get it. She crossed her legs and placed the laptop before her on the bed, opening it up and leaning over to tap incessantly at the keys. She was having more difficulty than she should have. This was her thing, her superpower. Chey had never failed to find anyone and she just wanted to know she was okay.
She was there for nearly two hours, searching desperately for something to help her. Chey hadn’t been calm for a long time but she hid it well. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept and she was drinking far too much for completely the wrong reasons. Consuming a bottle of wine at one pm because the numb feeling you had from drinking the night before was starting to wear off just wasn’t normal and it definitely wasn’t Chey. She was sober right now and that was why she was suffering. She slammed her laptop shut and moved to put it back into her cabinet. She just stood there for a moment, looking down at the picture on her side. She couldn’t keep staring but she didn’t know what to do. She had to force her body to move and her bodies first reaction was to reach for the picture and tear it into pieces, dropping it to the floor. Her body moved and her foot collided heavily with the dark wood cabinet. Probably wasn’t the smartest plan but as the tears started to fall down her face she realized that the pain in her foot hurt less than anything else right now. Reaching out, Chey grabbed the alarm clock off the side and swung, screaming as she threw it as hard as she could, not even thinking about where she threw it. There was a loud smashing noise as the clock collided with the television and then a louder crash as the thing fell off the wall and fell to the floor. Well as hissy fits went, this one was pretty damned destructive.
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Post by bastian on Dec 3, 2010 13:56:30 GMT -5
Bastian may have told Chey that he wasn't going to be able to make it up this weekend. He may have told her that he was in the middle of a hunt and he couldn't tear away at the moment. He may have told her that he was going to make it up to her as soon as he could, but he really wasn't sure when that would be.
He may have been lying about all of the above.
In fact it had been his plan to show up, surprising Chey to put a smile on her face. She had seemed stressed lately, but he wouldn't tell her what was going on. Bastian didn't like it when his girl seemed stressed all the time. He knew things got to Chey more than she let on. She tried to fight it, tried to live up to the expectations that being a Winchester had instilled upon her. Bastian just wished that she'd realize he loved for the person she was, not the person everyone expected to her to be.
Bastian pulled up to the Winchester residence, roses and chocolates and a giant stuffed teddy bear in his arms. There was a wide smile on his face as he approached the door. He had a key to the place, but he doubted the door was locked this time. Anything that tried to waltz up to the Winchester home was extremely stupid and would easily be obliterated. Supernatural things were dumb, but they weren't that dumb.
So imagine his surprise when he walked inside and heard something break upstairs. Hunter mode kicked in and he set everything down near the door of Chey's room, drawing his gun and quietly opening the door. He expected a ghost or a an intruder. What he did not expect to see was Chey having a complete and total meltdown.
"Chey?" His eyes went wide as she threw things and muttered curses. He ducked a flying trinket and and put his gun away, before walking over and wrapping his arms around her from behind.
"Shhh," He whispered in her ear, gently restraining her so she didn't hurt herself. "Goose, it's me...it's Bastian...I'm here..." He pressed his cheek against hers, holding her, whispering reassuring words to her, and scared to death because he'd never seen her this way before. |
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Post by Chevrolet Winchester on Dec 4, 2010 7:52:37 GMT -5
 It was like Chey started, she couldn’t stop. Her body was going crazy but it still wasn’t half as bad as what was going on in her head. Chey hadn’t even known anyone else was in the house. She knew her mom was working, her dad was away with Ben and well… She was under the impression Bastian was half way across the country. She would have never expected he was lying and trying to surprise her. Trust her honey to see right through her and know that she’d been letting the world get to her. The worst thing was that it would have been the most amazing surprise if she’d not been having a melt down or well, if she’d even noticed he was there. She wasn’t hearing anything, she was just going completely mad. Later on she was going to regret throwing everything across the room, She’d smashed lamps, destroyed her TV, possibly broken a toe and she was pretty sure she just threw her grandmother’s charm bracelet. The world might as well have gone away as she slowly let all her feelings go flying out of her. She was a total mess as she stood there. Her eyes were pouring with tears and her body was shaking like crazy. To say she was shocked when she felt arms wrap around her was an understatement. Everything she could physically control froze, yet she couldn’t stop shaking. For a moment it was fear that consumed her, held her still, her body tense and solid. Then she heard the gentle shushing sound and the words ‘Goose it’s me’ and it was like everything inside her let go. Everything that was tense about her suddenly relaxed and it was like her legs buckled underneath her, the fact his arms were around her being the only thing that kept her up.
It didn’t even occur to Chey that Sebastian wouldn’t have been there and so it didn’t occur to her to wonder why. She thanked god that the was. Right now, without him, she wasn’t sure she would have been able to stop, to regain her composure and keep going. The sound of his voice and the feel of his skin against hers as he rested his cheek against her, that was what grounded her. That kept her sane. Normally she’d be wishing he didn’t have to see her like this. Who wanted to seem like the crazy emotional girl that couldn’t keep herself together? But she should really have known Bastian better than that. With the lives they all lead, they were used to having the world on their shoulders. Chey didn’t know a hunter that hadn’t had their share of heartache, their share of crazy. That still didn’t mean she wanted him to completely see hers. What she didn’t realize was that he probably already had and it was something she probably didn’t even need to worry about. Her arms moved over his, her hands moving over where his hands held her and her fingers snaked into his hands. She was holding on. It was seemingly quite clear that she was holding on. She didn’t know what else to do but she was so glad that she at least had him to hold onto. Her head leaned more heavily against his, trying to control the tears that were streaming down her face but simply resulting in them escaping her as heavy sobs.
It was horrible for Chey to just simply feel this weak. She needed Bastian, she’d needed him a lot but right now she’d really needed him. She was trying to say or do anything but she was struggling so hard to do so. Finally an “I’m sorry.” whispered out through her lips. It hit her then that her cat was probably on its way to wiggling its away out of its bag. Chey was miss insecure when it came to pretty much anything but this? She didn’t want this to break them but right now she wasn’t sure she could not tell him. There’d been so many times she’d wanted to, it was just fear that stopped her. She’d never had to tell a boyfriend she had a baby before. She didn’t even know how to. |
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Post by bastian on Dec 4, 2010 12:40:37 GMT -5
Bastian's chest constricted. He had never seen Chey this way before. Sure she'd cried before now and gotten upset over things, but not like this. He could feel her body shivering and shaking beneath his arms. The tears streamed down her face, and he could practically feel the pain rolling off of her. He had no idea what had put her in such a state. He wondered if something had happened to Ben or Ryder? Or maybe her father? Living the life of a hunter was hella dangerous.
When he felt her legs give way, Bastian held her tighter in his arms, still whispering soothing words to her. "It's okay, Goose. Whatever it is, I'm here. You're not alone. I promise. I'm here. Just breathe." The last thing he wanted was for her to go into a panic attack. "Shhhh." He rocked her back and forth in his arms, standing there, holding her. He didn't know what was wrong, but if someone intentionally hurt her, there would be hell to pay.
Bastian could only blink when Chey apologized, having no idea what exactly she was apologizing for. "You haven't done anything wrong, Goose." Sweeping Chey into his arms he moved them over, sitting on the chair, pulling Chey into his lap, still holding her tight. He brushed some tangled hair out of her face with his fingers and kissed her forehead gently. "What's wrong. Tell me so I can help."
God he hated seeing her like this. She was in so much pain and all he wanted to do was take it away and see her beautiful smile again. Nothing was ever that easy, but damn if he wouldn't do everything in his power to try. He kissed her lips gently, waiting for her to speak. |
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Post by Chevrolet Winchester on Dec 5, 2010 22:53:34 GMT -5
Normally Chey resented being treated in anyway like a child. She resented being pet on the head and nodded condescendingly at her. Hell her dad was still known to send her to her room from time to time. However when it was Bastian and he was gently rocking her from side to side, she was more than happy to let him, despite the fact no one else would have gotten away with it. She would normally pull herself together and try and convince everyone, even herself, she was fine. He told her he was there, that she wasn’t alone and just to breathe. She actually did start to calm down in his arms which was amazing. He was her Superman, he was the one who could save her. She’d apologized and he told her she hadn’t done anything wrong. But she wasn’t so sure he’d see it that way. She didn’t think he’d be happy to find out exactly what she had to say. Her body was practically limp as he swept her up. She didn’t have the ability to make her brain work let alone her body. As Bastian sat down she seemed to curl into him as much as she could. Closing her eyes as he stroked the hair out of her face, Chey found herself feeling guilty. She wasn’t sure why she felt guilty but she did. Maybe it was the secrets and the lies but she hated it, she hated feeling this way.
Chey felt his lips press gently against the top off her head and her slowly drew a long breath in through her nose, unable to move her lips from the pressure of her teeth gripping the inside of her bottom lip. He wanted to know what was wrong which meant she had to tell him. She just hated the ‘tell me so I can help’ part. She really wasn’t sure he could. But then the light bulb switched on above her head that there might actually be a chance he could. There was a chance they were stronger than the secret, that she could trust him and he could help. His lips moved to hers and she shut up her brain for a moment, just kissing him back while she could. As his lips moved away, Chey looked up to him, tears still escaping from her eyes and mascara starting to gently escape down her face. No matter how waterproof mascara seemed to be, it always had its limit. “Please don’t hate me!” Girl translation? I’ve done something I think will make you hate me. Chey had a feeling he might but she was praying to god that feeling was wrong.
“I messed up Bastian.. I kept a secret and I told lies and I got myself tangled in them and now I don’t know what to do. I can’t cope anymore. It’s all getting on top of me and I’ve stayed strong through everything… I did everything I could to keep what was left of my family from falling apart. I kept Mom and Dad from filing for a divorce, I stopped dad killing himself, I stopped Ben from leaving the family completely and I spent months missing my brother and I never complained once… I never let them know I was upset, but this…. I can’t fight it and it wont go away and I don’t even think I can fix it because I can’t find anything and I’ve been looking and looking and I can’t… I don’t know what to do anymore.” She wasn’t even sure she was making sense to be honest but it was like once she started talking she couldn’t stop. She hadn’t even told him what the hell was going on yet so she knew she was still going to have a LOT more explaining to do. |
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Post by bastian on Dec 5, 2010 23:04:29 GMT -5
Bastian continued rocking her while she was in his lap and blinked when she asked him not to hate her. The desperation in her voice, the sheer pain made his chest constrict. He wondered for a moment if she had cheated on him or something to that effect, because short of that he could never see himself hating her. Hell even if she did, Bastian wasn't sure he could. There was just something about Chey, about the love she poured from her soul and offered to everyone around her. He stayed quiet though, waiting for her to continue. When she went on about all the troubled in her family and being strong for everyone, his chest tightened more. He hadn't known half of that and Bastian wished that she would have come to him. Let him help her share some of the burden. Didn't she see that she didn't always have to be strong? That he was there for her? Apparently she didn't that was something Bastian was going to have to rectify. Immediately.
He kissed her head again, rubbing her back soothingly, letting his presence show that he was there for her. Hunts be damned, Chey came first in his life and he would do whatever it took to help her. Whether it was fixing whatever was wrong or just being there, or letting her swing at him a few times. He wasn't walking away.
"What is it, Goose?" He used his affectionate nickname for her again. She was so full of life and so silly sometimes not worrying about what anyone else thought. He realized now how much of that was a ruse that she used a mask from letting anyone know how she was really feeling. Damn his girl was tough. He'd dare anyone else to say otherwise. He'd probably punch them in the face if they did too.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to hate you. I could never hate you." He kissed her head again, moving his hands to gently grab either side of her cheeks and tilt her face so he could look into her beautiful eyes. "Tell me. Let me be here for you. Let me help if I can."
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Post by Chevrolet Winchester on Dec 6, 2010 11:32:39 GMT -5
Chey couldn’t begin to imagine the ideas she’d put into his head. If the roles were reversed she’d be thinking all kinds of stupid things. She hadn’t cheated on him, she didn’t think she was capable of doing so. There was something about her relationship with Bastian, it felt different to anything she’d ever known but she wasn’t the type to cheat anyway, she’d been cheated on too many times but she really wouldn’t start by cheating on one of the best things in her life. She’d be a total moron if she did so. It wasn’t that Chey didn’t think Bastian would always be there for her or anything it was just a complete inability to acknowledge or speak about her feelings and fears. The fact she could completely lose it and he’d still sit there with her, rock her and let her know he was there was amazing to her. She’d never had anyone else who just cared about her, didn’t want anything more than the same in return. Of all the things she would never have expected to happen, this was way up there on the list of most unlikely. All Chey ever really needed was the words that came out of Bastian’s mouth. ‘I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to have you. I could never hate you.’
Something in Chey instantly stopped. She’d say it was her heart if it wasn’t, you know, impossible. She didn’t want to blurt it out but it didn’t seem like something you could really build up to. She had a habit of wording things in ways that just got her in more trouble than she should have been before she had a chance to explain properly… So rather than building up, she started with the main problem. “I had a baby!” Chey’s eyes locked to him, waiting desperately for a reaction. Chey was fully aware that a lot of guys would have taken that admission as a valid excuse to run for the hills. She probably wouldn’t blame Bastian if he did right now but she trusted him now to do it in a nice way at least. She knew she wanted to tell him everything but she was just stuck waiting for his reaction.
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Post by bastian on Dec 6, 2010 11:42:38 GMT -5
For a few moments Bastian simply stared. Of everything, every bomb in the world Chey could drop on him, that was not what he was expecting. In fact it was on the other end of the spectrum. Of things he never expected to come out of her mouth. At least, not for another ten or so years. It was a complete shock.
"Um, I'm assuming this happened before we got together, because I'm pretty sure I'd notice a drastic change in your figure," He blinked at her and kissed her forehead, still trying to reassure her, while wrapping his head around the nuke she'd just dropped on him. "Okay, Goose, start from the beginning. Tell me what exactly it is your talking about."
Bastian readjusted them on the couch so they were both more comfortable, and leaned back, giving Chey room to rest her head on his shoulder if she wanted to. He would listen, get Chey through this, and flip out later. He just prayed she had this baby of her own volition, and no one forced her. His sister had been raped, if he found out his girlfriend had too, demons be damned he was going to murder someone.
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Post by Chevrolet Winchester on Dec 7, 2010 9:38:53 GMT -5
Well as reactions went, Bastian’s was perfect. Sure, he didn’t jump for joy but she never expected him to and she probably would have thought it strange if he had. She smiled up at him, nodding gently as he said about it being before they were together. It really would have been skill if she managed to hide that. They definitely hadn’t been together long enough to have had his child and she definitely wouldn’t have hidden that from him, even if she was scared. But there were definitely tell tale signs but she couldn’t blame him for not noticing. It was things like the fact she didn’t like people touching her stomach or the fact whenever anyone brought up children, Chey got that distant look in her eyes. Having a friend with a child was hard because she loved Kellen and Tammy and she loved their little girl but to see them with their daughter broke Chey’s heart. She hated that she didn’t have that and she regretted what she did every single day, but it was harder to ignore it when it was flaunted in her face. He wanted her to explain and she already knew she had to. She took a deep breath, shifting herself to look up at him and sit comfortably. A small sigh escaped her and she started to speak.
“When I went off to college, I’d been arguing with my dad and I felt like everyone just kind of shoved me off. I got reckless and I started drinking and partying and I guess I did everything I thought would upset my dad. I started seeing this guy and I let my guard down and I slept with him way before I was ready and the relationship just seemed to explode way too fast. It wasn’t real, none of it, but it seemed it because I was so desperate for it to be real. He wasn’t nice, and I wasn’t happy. I got pregnant the first time.. I didn’t know I was pregnant and by the time I found out I was quite far into it, I could have still had an abortion, he wanted me to, but I couldn’t. I felt backed into a corner and I was so scared to talk to anyone.” Only now did it occur to her that the reason she was so scared is because she knew the situation wasn’t right. Yes her dad and brothers would have lashed out when they found out she was pregnant, but she knew it would have been worse if any of them found out how she was being treated or how unhappy she was.
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Post by bastian on Dec 7, 2010 19:51:59 GMT -5
When Chey trailed off Bastian had to blink several times as all he could see was the color red. Now, red was usually his favorite color. It was the color of his car, he had plenty of red shirts, most of the decorum at his place was red, but this particular red, he didn't like. It came from fury. Pure, raw, unadulterated fury.
It wasn't at Chey though. The whole her having a kid thing was definitely a shocking blow, but the fact that she had been so frightened about it that she basically went through it alone. Bastian wasn't sure who or who didn't know about this. Honestly he didn't care, because there was obviously one guy who did know about. A guy that Bastian had every intention of getting the name of and making sure that he paid for it for the rest of his life. Seriously, well okay maybe he should hear the rest of the story first. Then he'd decide on the severity of the guys punishment.
When the world finally went back to normal colors, Bastian looked at Chey, his eyes showing nothing but love for her. Leaning down he kissed her lips gently. "I'm sorry, Goose." He pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair. His hand continued rubbing her back soothingly as he held her. "So what happened after that?"
He hated for Chey to have to tell this story and bring up these painful memories, but it seemed that they already had boiled over. At least he could be there for her this time.
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