Shattered {Ryder, Gregg}

[Ryder James Winchester]

The hunter couldn’t help but chuckle at Simone’s enthusiasm for the chocolate candy, his dirty-blonde eyebrow twitching up into an arch at her mention of Harry Potter and Professor Lupin when she regarded the gooey treat. He snorted and shook his head, pausing in his channel surfing to grin up at her before letting his eyes wander back to the screen. “You mean Harry Pothead?” Ryder asked with an impish smirk, using the nickname he and Ben had dubbed the fictional wizard from yester year. “Didn’t it come out they were all stoners anyway and the brownies they ate probably were a miraculous cure?”

He let out another chuckle and let his gaze lift again, inhaling sharply at the moan of delight and the innocent, but altogether mesmerizing way she tongued the mess of her fingertips. Ryder let the breath out in a quiet sigh, wishing the irrational musings of the woman then and now would just leave him be for the moment. What did it really matter how attractive she’d become since the last time he’d seen her. What did it really matter that the sight of her licking her fingers made his heart pound a little faster than before?
She was off limits as far as hooking up went, and he didn’t really believe he had room in his cracked heart for another female anyway…did he?

The young Winchester was distracted from said musings when Simi slipped off the bed and announced that she needed to shower, and he began to rise in order to help her with that feat until the witch gave him a look that would make a lesser man whimper. Hell, a little noise that sounded whine -did- escape his parted lips and he held up his hands in surrender and grinned until the bathroom door closed to separate them.

The smile slid off his face then, and he moved to the door and pressed his forehead against it, waiting until the sound of running water informed him that she was a big girl and indeed, could take care of herself. When he turned around, his grey-blue eyes scanned the room, finally settling on the cell phone that had landed on top of the dresser.
In the message Simi had told Bastian that she was with him, and he couldn’t help but wonder if the older Blair would pass on the info to -his- family, and how that would make them feel.

Christ, he needed a distraction.

Knowing the blonde would take a few minutes under the massaging spray, he pulled on his jacket and went back out to the jeep. Unfortunately he’d left in too much of a hurry to pack a bag ,but the hunter never left home without a few necessities, and he pulled a pack of smokes from the glove box and a half empty bottle of Jack from under the seat.

Ah, the breakfast of champions.

Unable to wait until he got back inside, the young Winchester unscrewed the lid and took a heavy pull, wincing as it went down like acid but settling nice and warm in his empty belly. Twisting the lid back on, he tucked it inside his coat and lit up a cigarette, inhaling deeply and holding that first drag in as the nicotine did its job relaxing his mind and his muscles.

It didn’t take him long to finish that cigarette and then another, and just as he was going back in the room he heard the sound of Simi calling out to him from the bathroom.
He closed the door and locked it behind him, shrugging out of the jacket and laying the bottle in the chair at the little table by the door.

Trying to keep the sheepish grin from spread across his face but failing miserably, Ryder ambled over to the crack in the door and met the witch’s eyes. “I usually have an extra bag in the Jeep just in case, but wouldn’t you know I took it out a few days back because the laundry was piling up.”

The hunter chewed on his bottom lip for a moment; forcing his eyes to remain at her face level while he tried to think of something else, and finally tugged the tee-shirt he was wearing over his head before holding it out towards the door.
“You can wear this for now.” He told her awkwardly, and his stormy gaze drifted away before announcing the latter part of his plan. “If you give me a few I’ll have a pair of boxers for you too…” And he could feel his cheeks warming at the thought of stripping off the underwear he was currently dressed in so the witch could wear them. “At least until the local stores open and I can run and get something else for you.”

[Simone Winchester]

And the heavens opened up and choirs of angels sang.

Ok, so maybe that was a bit of an extreme description of the little blondes reaction to the sight of her companion bare chested before her. However, not by much. The sight before her was definitely worth singing about in her book.. Not that she was close to drooling or anything... Much.

Good Lord, she really must have taken a knock to the head because she definitely was having revelations she had no business having. Not that they weren't supremely nice revelations but .... Chey would smack her upside the head again if she had any clue the suddenly decidedly.... sexy thoughts she was entertaining about her brother. Yeahhhhh... time to put those thoughts back in the gutter where they belonged before they could take full flight into nice daytime fantasies... If it wasn't to late already.

With widening blue eyes, Simi watched him pull off his shirt and hold it out before reaching out to take it tentatively. It was all she could do not to gawk at him in a surprised manner but with one simple action, he'd made the world shift beneath her feet. She suddenly felt as if someone had pulled the blinders off her eyes and she was seeing him in a whole new light. Not as a childhood playmate... Not as a knight in shining armor.... Not as a the boy who'd been the object of her bratty practical tricks.... but as a man.

Oh sure, she'd noticed he'd definitely grown up but its hadn't truly hit her until this moment how truly heart stopping his sheepish grin could be or how yummy all those chiseled muscles were. A little flutter in her stomach started and she found herself drinking in the sight of him with a completely new awareness.

Damn, in the years that had passed since she'd last seen him... He'd DEFINITELY grown up. Holy HELL had he grown up.

As a kid, he'd been on the slender side with studious tendencies but he'd always been cute. He'd had his own little following of ladies but Simi had been to intent on her own studies to really notice. When she did take the time, she'd usually been involved in some practical joke against him so it would have been counter productive to take stock of such things.

Now, though... It was a different ball game entirely. Now, she was definitely sitting up and taking notice. It also occurred to her that this was the first time in over six months that she'd found herself attracted to ANY man... yet there was no trace of fear of him either.

It WAS Ryder, after all.

He might suddenly have pulled a morphing maneuver to become the sexiest thing on two feet but some where inside... He was still that kid who'd silently showed up to protect his sister when the other kids at school had tried to bully her.... Not to mention lifted Simi herself to her feet after a bad tumble from a tree where she and Chey had both been "silently" trying to spy on him.

God Lord, it was amazing the man was still speaking to her at all after THAT memory flashed through her brain. Damn, had they really been THAT big of a pain in his ass?

Unfortunately, the answer was a resounded YES. Looked like what they said about hindsight being twenty/twenty was right on the mark. Damn it.

As she held the shirt to her chest, Simi felt a smile play around the corners of her lips. His masculine scent seemed to surround her and she felt both comforted and energized by it even as his next words rang out between them. Unsure she'd heard him correctly, her sapphire eyes shot to his with a sparkle that hinted at the laughter she suddenly felt.

"Oh.. Um.... Thats Ok, Ry.... I.. um... have my own underwear for now..... You can... uh... keep yours......." she returned, worrying her bottom lip for a minute. "Not that you shouldn't feel free to.. um... loose all your clothes if you feel like it."

OH GOOD LORD... HAD SHE SERIOUSLY JUST SAID THAT? Simi suddenly wished the floor would open up and swallow her. However, deciding to brazen it out, she let mischief shine through in her expression as she gave him a little once over and then shrugged daintily.

"Hey... I might be injured and have known you since childhood but I'm not blind....You can't blame a girl for trying can you? I am only human after all!!" she teased, sticking her tongue out at him a bit before shutting the door in his face and leaving him to stew on her words.

A little giggle escaped as she pictured his expression in her mind and then proceeded to SLOWLY pull on his tee and her own underwear. IT was an exercise in patience and endurance but she finally managed it. Once she was done, she picked up the complimentary comb from the sink and sighed. Her arms felt like lead and she didn't have the energy to drag the stupid thing through her long tresses.

Turning to the door, she twisted the knob and then opened the panel. Finding Ryder outside in the room, the petite blond tilted her head and chewed on her bottom lip before asking.

"Uh.... Ry? Can i ask for a major favor?" she started out. "I.... My arms are to tired...I can't comb my hair.... Would you mind....."

Letting her words trail off, she peeked at him from under her lashes and felt ten times the fool. What kind of helpless idiot was she that she couldn't even comb her own hair? Unfortunately, it couldn't be helped so she was just going to have to con him into it with promises of cookies or something.

"If you dooooooo...... When this is all over... I promise to make you a batch of my famous homemade chocolate chip cookies!" she teased, trying to sweeten the deal a bit as she meet his gaze with her own brilliant blues shining impishly.

[Ryder James Winchester]

It was easy enough for Ryder to keep his gaze upwards, especially when it was hard not to get lost in Simi’s unfathomable eyes. Two pools of navy blue like the ocean at midnight, he let him self drown in them until his pounding heart slowed to a comfortable staccato and he was able to catch his breath.
It was surreal; the sudden calm that over took the hunter when he stared into that dazzling face and saw the corners of those velvety lips curve up into the whisper of a smile. Even though it was in his core to be the vigilant, indifferent hunter, Ryder couldn’t help letting all his anxiousness fade like the dark in the sky now that dawn had broken. He and Simi were in a different place, and all the danger and evil was far, far away from where they were.

He snorted sheepishly at her refusal for the boxers, but understood, those grey eyes widening at her Freudian slip about loosing them anyway. Blinking back his surprise the young Winchester couldn’t find his tongue around the massive knot that had formed in his throat. Did she really mean that? So…it wasn’t completely insane that he was finding it harder and harder to ignore way the swing in her hips made his body twitch even though he’d known her since grade school?

The impish twinkle in her eyes just before she closed the door in his face brought a surprised cough out of him, and he chuckled quietly, absently rubbing the top of his head while he tried to get a rein on his shock.

So, she thought he was handsome. Big deal. The hunter had to remind himself that it didn’t mean anything beyond that. There were plenty of good looking guys in the world. He shook his head and let his hand drop to massage the back of his neck, wishing the reverie of that short, but saccharine kiss at the hospital didn’t have his mind working in overtime to find some kind of meaning behind it.
He’d saved her life. There were bound to be some emotions of gratitude, but that didn’t mean Simone felt anything else. So what if just being with her made him feel like a man again, instead of a walking corpse. The last thing the wounded witch needed was a needy guy to latch on and suck all the healing magic out of her. She needed strength and protection, and that was his charge.

With that thought whirling around in his head as a kind of distraction, it all disappeared once he heard the sound of the bathroom door open and he turned to find the blonde standing there in his tee-shirt and…nothing else.
His grey-blue eyes ghosted down her slender legs and then quickly back up, and the corner of his mouth turned up just slightly when he met her sparkling gaze.

“You look much better in that shirt than I do.” The hunter couldn’t help but announce, reaching to take the brush in one palm and Simi’s hand in the other, guiding her over to the bed.

Settling behind her, the nervous hunter began running the brush down her long thick golden locks, amazed at the way it felt like satin in his hands.
Ryder traced his tongue across his bottom lip, struck in that quiet moment how it felt like despite the dangerous circumstances they were in, this was right somehow.
He was a broken man in need of healing. She was wounded in body as well as spirit.
The two pieces seemed to fit perfectly, and with that, the therapy had begun.

Christine and the baby weren’t forgotten, but he was finally almost ready to put them at rest in his mind…as long as Simi was there. No telling what it would be like once this was all over and she went back to her family and he… well…he went somewhere else.

Swallowing thickly, Ryder inhaled sharply and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, forcing himself to say the words he knew he needed to. There was more to her healing than just sending Gregg back to hell and letting her physical injuries mend.

“Listen, Simi…” Ryder struggled to find the right words to offer, not wanting to sound cheesy or fake. “You know what they did to you…I mean; Gregg and the others… didn’t change the woman that you are. You might not see yourself in the same way, but it doesn’t change the way I look at you…or…”
Oh, shit man, don’t make this about you!

“Other people, I mean. It doesn’t change the way other people think, or see you.”
Dumb ass! Get a grip, Ryder!
“You know it wasn’t your fault, right? There was nothing you, or any woman could have done that would make what those guys did acceptable. Nothing.”

[Simone Winchester]

There were just certain moments in ones life when you knew you were standing on the cusp of a decision or choice that would impact ones whole future. Standing there before her sandy haired savior wearing nothing but his tshirt, the little blond suddenly felt as if one of those slippery sloops loomed in front of her.

With her life in shambles around her and the future uncertain, everything in her craved something to hold on to and her heart was suddenly very much aware of Ryder as never before. SHe wasn't sure how or why but Ryder had suddenly become much more than just a childhood playmate in her mind. Sometime in the past few days, they'd moved past the bounds of friendship to a place where the witch saw him as something more than the boy next door.

With the truth before her, Simi realized that her friend had grown into a flesh and blood man with a heart and soul that appealed to her in ways that she'd never imagined possible.

Talk about giving new meaning to ROTTEN TIMING....


With eyes open wide for the first time since she'd first seen him again, Simi searched his face for some sign that she wasn't imagining the little spark that seemed to flow between them and found it in the warmth of his uneasy smile. There seemed to be something in his eyes that said he was as aware of this new, tentative attraction as she was and it was unexpected for him too. That alone put her as ease like nothing else could of.


Of all the guys she'd ever known or dated, Simi was quiet sure that none had ever looked at her like Ryder did at that moment. There was appreciation as well as warmth in his gaze and it made her feel beautiful even though she probably resembled something closer to Frankenstiens Bride. His azure eyes seemed to glow with an inner goodness and her heart gave a little hitch as he reached to take her hand and pull her to the bed.

He might think that he was no good to anyone but the blond knew otherwise. His light was the one beacon in the darkness that kept her going in this nightmare straight out of hell.

Seated before him, Simi closed her eyes and allowed her senses to take over as he pulled the brush through her long locks. While he worked, Simi searched her feelings for the grim distrust and fear that had haunted her since the "incident" but found none of that lurking in the room with them.

Instead, she found only trust and comfort in her reactions to Ryders touch.

For the first time in six months, she felt safe and her sense of hopelessness had faded to almost nothing. Sure, logically, she knew the demon was still out there waiting.... But here in this room... She felt as if maybe there was a reason for all that had happened.

When the touch of his hand came on her shoulder, Simi turned a bit so that she could see him. Her brows furrowed as he seemed to struggle for words and then she had to swallow hard as he brought up the subject that hung in the air between them.

“Listen, Simi…” Ryder struggled to find the right words to offer, not wanting to sound cheesy or fake. “You know what they did to you…I mean; Gregg and the others… didn’t change the woman that you are. You might not see yourself in the same way, but it doesn’t change the way I look at you…or…”

And with those words, Simi felt as if someone had knocked the air right out of her lungs. Vaguely, she was aware of him saying more but she couldn't seem to make sense of it. Her eyes flew to his and she stared at him with something between horror and desperate hope while her eyes searched his face for the truth of his statement.

“........You know it wasn’t your fault, right? There was nothing you, or any woman could have done that would make what those guys did acceptable. Nothing.”

How many times had Tammy said those same words? How many times had Simi said them to herself? Logically, the blond knew they were true but on some level... she still felt as if she had done something to deserve it.

"I know, Ryder...... but.... I feel like I should have known on some level about all this... I should have known something was wrong with Gregg that night.... He might have been an ass when we broke up but he was never malicious before....If I'd only paid more attention... Maybe I could have stopped this all......."

Gesturing with her hands helplessly, she seemed to run out of words for a moment before continuing.

"I used to think that I was so smart.... I wanted a normal life so badly, Ryder, that I let it blind me to everything else.... Now, I can't hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror most days..... I feel DIRTY..... I spent the first month taking so many showers that its amazing I'm not a permanent prune from trying to scrub off the filth I can feel clinging to my skin.... Its been all I can do to not to flinch at my own brothers touch..... God.. I'm afraid of my own SHADOW most of the time....."

Dropping her face down into her hands, Simi tried to stop the flood of words but they only came faster. She could no longer look at her companion as they spilled out, however. She felt as if she were baring her very soul and was afraid that she'd see disgust in his eyes when she finished.

"You know... All i ever wanted to was a family of my own someday.... I wanted to get my teaching degree, settle down and find the same sort of love my parents had.... Now.... Now I just hope that I can make it from day to day.... I find myself wanting to jump out of my skin whenever someone gets to close and its all I can do to even be in the same room with a guy I don't know..... I feel like a scared little rabbit and i HATE it, Ryder.... I HATE IT..... "

[Ryder James Winchester]

No…Simi, don’t cry. Ryder pleaded inwardly watching as those wide crystalline eyes filled with moisture and her body visibly started to quiver. The mere sight of her breakdown shattered his heart into a thousand pieces; but hearing her feelings of culpability at what those assholes had done seemed to enflame it, burning his chest from the inside out.

How could they make this Angel Fall so far? She deserved to be risen on a lofty cloud of contentment; chaste and innocent to all the vile things that humans were capable of.
That was the bad thing about growing up in the hunter lifestyle; you tend to forget that sometimes your fellow human could be capable of as much evil as the demons they sent back to hell. And Simi…well…she had always been so good; so full of compassion and understanding and charity; how dare they steal that away from her?!

Ryder wrapped an arm around the blonde witch, ignoring the shudder that stole down his spine at the feel of her soft porcelain skin and all her delicate warmth.
The young Winchester just held her until the trembles had passed, lightly rubbing up and down her arm.
“You trusted someone you loved…there’s no blame in that. That trust, Simi…it makes you who you are. It makes you amazing…” The hunter shook his head, unable to keep from looking into her face so that she could see the conviction in his grey eyes. He shifted so he was facing her, gently putting his hand under her chin so he could lift her gaze. “You…you’re…”

She was like a star…she shone from the inside out, and that light…it had helped him see in the dark. He could still feel it radiating out of her; a thin film of goodness that seemed to run straight from her soul and into his, healing him; waking him.
And all he wanted to do was help her too. But he couldn’t confess that to her.

“And touch isn’t dirty Simi.” the hunter told her, letting his hand fall so he could weave his fingers between hers; palms together. He squeezed, holding her sapphire eyes in his; speaking with his gaze as well as his hands and his words. “Your touch saved me…" He didn't remember ever feeling anything before it...

God, her lips…

Ryder’s gaze dropped to them, and he jolted at how bad he wanted to feel them against his own.
But…that was selfish; it was too soon. She didn’t need his kiss; she needed his shoulder and his strength. Was it weakness that the man just wanted her to know he didn’t see her as tainted or changed, he saw her a seraph that had rescued him as much as he had her.

“Maybe you believe me.” Ryder told the blonde, his voice husky and his face creased with concern. “But maybe it’ll take time. And we’ve got as much time as you need. If you believe anything, maybe you’ll consider that’s the one thing I know about. Needing time…”
How long had it been for him? He didn’t even know what month it was.

[Simone Winchester]

As the tears subsided and left her feeling empty, Simi became aware of strong arms cradling her close. Sometime during her tirade, Ryder had pulled her close and held her as if she were something precious to be protected. It felt so good to relinquish control that she allowed herself a moment of weakness as she looked up to meet his gaze.

To her amazement, none of the self disgust she felt was reflected in his beautiful azure eyes. Instead, something she couldn't identify seemed to glitter there and then his words spanned the silence between them. Amazement flooded her own expression as she computed their meaning and then blinked in wonder. Was truly saying what she thought he was saying? Or was her mind to scrambled to make sense of his true intent? Could he truly see something special within her? Didn't he realize that he was something special to her too?

Suddenly, all the wondering and worry seemed to explode in her brain and she realized she was sick and tired of living in a state of limbo. If the last few months had proven anything to her, it was that life didn't come with any guarantees and sometimes you had to grab on to moments that were truly worth living when you could... Because you might never get the chance again.

That didn't mean you had to suddenly take up sky diving with an acute case of fear of heights but.. Maybe going out on a limb wasn't such a bad thing if it lead to a chance of finding something worth living for....

With that thought in mind and a wealth of emotions brimming from her eyes, Simi stared up at Ryder a long moment before she acted on the impulse that seemed as natural as the sun rising in the east. Twisting slightly so that her body fit more comfortably against his, the little blond carefully slipped a slender arm around Ryders neck before searching his eyes for some sign of resistance. When she didn't find it, she gave a slight tug to pull him down to her and pressed her soft lips to his firmer ones.

The kiss was soft, tentative and searching but a wealth of emotion passed between them with that one act. Had Ryder been any other man, the young witch knew there wasnt' a chance in hell of the same events taking place but here.. with him...it was as natural as breathing. Even to her own mind, Simi wasn't sure what possessed her to take such actions but she knew deep down that it felt right.

After the last few hellish days, she was very much in touch with the reality of her own mortality and she didn't want to die with only the memory of Gregg on her body or in her heart. Not when her soul had awakened along with her body that morning next to Ryder in a world that seemed light years away from the current moment. Some inner wisdom whispered that fate had brought them together at this point in each of their lives for a reason and she didn't want any mix signals to interfere. Obviously, they were both still healing from events that had left them brutalized but she suddenly wanted... no.. needed there to be no misconceptions between them.

Pulling back slightly from the kiss, Simi searched for the words that would convey her thoughts. He was taking a big risk for her and she needed him to know that it wasn't simply gratefulness to him that spurred her emotions. Somehow, she needed to let him know that he wasn't just a friend that she was turning to out of desperation.... but someone she needed on a whole new level the belied description. If that sent him running.. well, then.. so be it. It was better sooner rather then later with the mile of trouble that seemed to be following her.

“Ry...... I... I need to be totally honest with you about something..... Something that has nothing to do with where we are right now... or.. uh... at least.. not in the way you might think.... and then if you wanna call Bastian and get him here on the double... I won't stop you... but I need to be completely up front about this.... I'm tired of running away from my own fear and uncertainties. I don't want any mix up in communications about what is going on here so.... Here it goes...”

Taking a deep breath, the little witch raised her eyes to meet his levelly and almost definitely as words spilled out of her mouth.

“I'm a totally selfish person because I'm not sorry I woke up to see you sitting by my hospital bed.... After I left you at the garage...I almost turned my car around and came back to you.... I … I didn't want to leave you..... and even though I hate the fact I drug you into all this, which was NEVER my intention.. I can't be sorry.....Call me crazy... call me insane... but I don't want anyone but you with me.....Your the only one who makes me feel safe.. as if maybe all the darkness isn't about to swallow me whole..... When everyone elses touch makes me wanna climb the walls.... Yours grounds me... I don't know how else to describe it but ….. yeah........I know that you've got your own demons and I know that you probably are just feeling sorry for me but... I can't stop how I feel about you and I'm not going to pretend otherwise..... I don't want you to think that I'm just turning to you because i've got some sort of damsel in distress complex either.... ”

Then, shrugging helplessly, she fell silent and waited for the fall out. Damn, she ROYALLY screwed that up hadn't she? He was going to think she was some kind of loon. Hell, maybe she WAS. At this rate, she was going to be locked up in a mental facility if things kept going like this.

[Ryder James Winchester]

Ryder’s gaze was lost in those sapphire depths. His heart was pounding furiously behind the cage that imprisoned it; so feverishly he felt like his chest would split open to set it free. His hand was still clutching Simi’s; firmly, but not too tight, like if he let it go she might fly away and soar back to the heavens.
He was waiting for something…but what that something be, was completely beyond the man.

The breath held in began to burn the hunter’s lungs, but he hadn’t even been aware that he’d been holding it. The breath came out in a shudder when her arms snaked around his neck and suddenly Ryder saw something in the witch’s azure eyes that hadn’t been there before. An unbidden awareness warmed the man a moment before a gentle, tentative tug brought their lips together and he closed his eyes, wrapping his free arm around Simi’s delicate curves and pulling her closer.

The kiss, even tender and uncertain as it was, sent a jolt of electricity through the young Winchester that went straight to his core. Ryder let out a low husky moan and returned the mouthy embrace with more urgency than he meant too, drinking the woman in as if he were a desert and she the rain.
Like the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding in, all of a sudden Ryder realized he’d been starving; empty, and the tempest of unexpected emotions threatened to drown him in their rainstorm. He felt so much holding her. So much. He didn’t ever want to let her go.
When Simi pulled away from the kiss it was all Ryder could do not to tug her back to him. All the air seemed rush out and he found his hand going to his own bare chest to make sure his heart was still beating. It was. Freaking -a- it was. It was like the kiss had restarted the damn thing after it had been broken for so long. She was magic. She was a miracle.

Reluctantly the young hunter leaned back so that Simi could tell him what she’d been holding in. His stormy eyes moved back and forth in hers, awed by her confession as much as the fact that he felt the same way. Ryder wasn’t even aware that he’d been falling until the full gravity of her words as well as his own feelings surrounded him; heavy and comforting like an embrace.
A smile slid across his face, lighting up his eyes and his visage and he reached out to touch a strand of her hair; golden, glowing like the sun.

When had this happened? Had he been so dead inside that now, living, he couldn’t remember the exact moment of his rebirth?
It was such a strange and wonderful thing; new and exhilarating, but at the same time familiar and solid. He shook his head at the rush of sudden emotions flooding him; in wonder.

“Don’t worry Simi.” He whispered, and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face as his fingers left her hair to trail down the side of her face. “You’re not crazy and I’m not sorry that you called me. I needed this. I needed you.” He let out a light chuckle and drew his tongue across his bottom lip, nervous about confirming his own feelings, but eager at the same time. “I’m not going anywhere Simi. Whatever happens we’re gonna’ do it together. You and me…”

Ryder closed his eyes, leaning in to gently press his forehead to hers, letting his nervousness out on an exhale. “I’m yours.” He whispered.

And he was terrified…

[Simone Winchester]

Boom... Thud.. Boom.

As she waited for a response from Ryder after her confession, Simi felt sure her heart was going to jump right out of her throat. Her words seemed to hang in the silence around them for an eternity before he read the truth in her eyes and reached to touch her. Whatever it was the little blond had expected, the emotions reflected in his cobalt depths went leaps and bounds beyond anything she'd even dared to hope for.

They were both wounded soldiers in the battle of life but hope, desire.. and dare she even hope... the chance of love seemed to glimmer between them. It gave her strength even as his return words brought a deep happiness to her soul.

Of all the outcomes she'd ever envisioned for herself... Some how.. Finding the one soul on earth that could match her own had never been one of them. She'd certainly never dreamed that Ryder would be that very being.

But here.. In this moment.. There was no denying the truth nor ignoring the way her heart seemed to race at his touch. She couldn't have denied his pull even had she wanted to...

And she was past the point of logical decisions.

If the world had gone to hell in that moment, Simi would have wished the devil well as long as she never had to leave his arms. His heart was what drew her to him like a moth to the flame and it was his soul that warmed her when the cold world tried to extinguish her spirit.

With him, she didn't have to pretend to be someone or something she wasn't and he knew all her little secrets and quirks having grown up with her. How could she have been so blind to have missed the way his smile made her smile? The way his laugh made her want to laugh?

Or.. Had she really? Had she really missed all those signs or had she simply tucked them away because it had never been the right time or the right place? Maybe that little ray of sunlight she'd always felt in his presence had just been a natural thing that had bidded its time to make itself known. Maybe they both had had paths to follow before they could truly appreciate what had developed between them.

Whatever the reasons were, Simi couldn't help but be glad they'd lead her to this place and time.

And.. DAMN... HE NEEDED HER??

God.. there was no way that he could need her worse than she needed him. To her, he was the very stars in the sky. Strong, resilient and everything desirable. In his own eyes, he might not be anything special and he might feel he had a million flaws but... to her... He was everything good in the world.

"Sappy much?" her inner voice drawled but she ignored it.

Then his last words words crashed into her final layer of self protection and left the pieces crumbled in ash.

With shaking hands, Simi cupped his face gently and let his warmth fill her. A simple tilt of her head and she brought her lips back to his in a more definite caress. A caress that she deepened so that everything she felt for him was laid bare before him in a flood of emotion.

For the first time ever, she let down her guard on her magic and let him feel everything she felt in her soul without any reserves. It was a unique ability that she shared with her mother and as soon as that mental shield went down... She understood exactly what her mother had been talking about when she spoke of the bond between her and her father. It was rich, deep and totally amazing. It was also something she'd never thought she'd be able to discover for herself.

Right up to the moment Ryder had reentered her life like a knight in shining armor.

When she finally pulled back in order to let them both catch their breath, her pulse raced in time with his and she was very aware of both their states of undress. Bitting her bottom lip, she rested against him and struggled to find words. What she was about to do scared the living hell out of her but it was something she needed and wanted on a level very nearing desperation. For six long months she'd been living in fear and she didn't want to do that any longer.. Not when life was so unpredictable and she didn't know what tomorrow might bring.

"Ryder..... You might be mine ... but I'm also yours... Theres alot of things to sort out but....Lets face it.... This isn't going to be a walk in the park and... theres every chance that we could both die.... I don't want to die with just the memory of that night in my head....."

Taking a deep breath and wrapping her arms more firmly about him, the little blond moved a bit closer and looked up at him with wide, sapphire eyes.

"I know I'm nothing pretty to look at at the moment but... if you can stand a broken angel.... I'd really like to have you hold me......"

[Ryder James Winchester]

Ryder actually saw the faith glisten in Simi’s sapphire eyes and for the first time in a long time, he saw himself start to believe as well. Her hands on both sides of his face made his heart falter and his lips came open just a little as anticipation of another kiss made his mouth dry and his spirit thirst for nothing but her.
As she tilted her head up and pressed her mouth against his once more, Ryder couldn’t close his eyes. He couldn’t believe that this seraph was actually in his arms and she wanted to be there; she wanted to taste him as much as he did her.

Finally, the hunter gave in, letting his eyelids fall and his arms wind around her again; gently, but definitely, so that she would know he was never letting her go.
At first the kiss was still tentative, almost curious, but as they found their connection the mouthy embrace became more fervent; full of hope and seeking for something more. Ryder gasped against her mouth when Simi let down her miraculous security and he felt it; large white feathery wings that extended from her shoulders to spread wide, wrapping around them both like a powerful embrace. Divine magic, pure and wonderful, sizzled between them and he could feel it penetrate his skin and radiate all the way to his center.

The young Winchester was gasping for breath when they reluctantly broke the kiss, and he couldn’t help but reach out with a shaking hand to caress her cheek, fighting the urge to pull her back to him before she opened her mouth and those next words rendered him utterly speechless.

Was she saying what he thought she was saying?
Ryder wished his body hadn’t tightened at the thought because there was no way she was asking what he imagined. Oh, god…was she?

Unable to find the words yet, all Ryder could do was shake his head. Trembles stole across the tawny skin of his chest and arms when she wound around him more tightly, and he could feel her heart thundering at the same rapid tempo as his own.
“You are…so beautiful Simi.” He finally managed to whisper, and it was absolute truth. He didn’t see the bruises or the swelling, only the most beautiful visage he’d ever laid eyes on. The young Winchester didn’t want to think about how his body suddenly ached for her, nor the way her delicate curves felt against him. He only wanted to fulfill the guileless request she’d laid out to him; to give her anything and everything that she needed.

His arm snaked around her waist and he leaned down to kiss her again; tenderly, but with the perceptible desperation he felt as well. Could she really want this of him?
As slowly as he could Ryder broke the kiss, his hand at her chin holding firmly so he could keep her gaze in his as he lowered Simi on the feathery comforter and settled his body lightly over hers.
It was hard to ignore the warmth that burst inside him like a wild fire, but his hands still shook as he brushed a lock of golden hair out of her face and looked back and forth in her unfathomable azure depths.

He was terrified. The hunter wanted nothing more than to feel the magic he knew that would be the young woman in his arms, but he couldn’t fathom hurting her. What if she wasn’t ready? She’d been through so much…they’d both been to hell and back.
If he ever hurt her he would never be able to forgive himself. His heart was barely set, if he broke hers, it would shatter again and there would be no coming back from it this time.

Looking down upon the angel, Ryder let an honest expression ghost across his face. The half sideways, sheepish smile and half look of apprehension made him appear younger than his years, and he let out a shuttering sigh.

“I’m scared Simi.” He told her in a whisper and a nervous chuckle escaped his parted lips. Once more he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.
Was -he- ready for this?

[Simone Winchester]

Call it a leap of faith.. call it a glutton desire for emotional drama but Simi was lost the moment she felt the shudder ripple through Ryders strong body. That little shiver warmed her heart and made a soft light brighten her big, soulful eyes with pure feminine desire.

Something deep inside revealed in the knowledge that her touch could effect him on such an elemental level and it gave her strength as he seemed to ask her silently if she was sure. While she might not have been sure about the physical actions she had invited, she was one hundred percent sure of this man.

The gentleness in his manner went leaps and bounds in assuring her that she'd made the right choice by voicing her invitation.Something inside insisted that they both needed this night to reaffirm themselves that there were still some things worth fighting for. In life... and in love.

Before her thoughts could carry her any further, Simi felt a hand cup her chin and she was staring into eyes that reflected a hunger that she had no doubt was banked in her own glimmering depths. In one smooth motion her companions strong arms lower her gently to the bed and a soft gasp escaped her as his hard body came to hover over hers. The feel and the scent of him teased her senses like nothing she'd ever experienced before and her hands automatically moved to catch at the heated skin of his shoulders.

God. Was it possible to feel so much in one simple touch? Where she'd thought she'd feel terror, she felt nothing but pure magic. There was nothing in this man to fear and even more tension fell away as she realized the truth. Ghosts of the past might linger but they had no place between the two of them.

Just as that realization settled, Ryder reached to caress a strand of her hair and his sheepish smile was like a beacon in the night. His words, however, drew her up and she searched his face intently for a long moment before lacing her arms around his neck.

"Ry.... This is just you and me..... Its not about anything else tonight.. Just one woman and one man.... Whatever happens between us will be right and I have complete trust in you......"

Giving her words a moment to sink in, Simi bit her bottom lip and then gave a soft tug that pulled him down against her more fully.

"I want you, Ryder Winchester....More than you can possible imagine... and if you don't make love to me right this minute... I swear I might just have to kick your butt."

That said, the little blond unlocked her arms and slipped her hands to where they could run down his chiseled chest. Shyly, she took advantage of the moment to discover all those muscles that had teased her curiosity and then allowed her lips to trail over his collarbone and then up to the frantic pulse that seemed to race in his throat. An impish grin spread across her lips as she allowed her hands to roam freely to his back and down to the waistband of his jeans.

"But you know something?" she whispered huskily into his ear when she arrived in time to nip at it wickedly. "I think that I DO want those boxers.... "