Knocking on the Devils Door {Simi Plotline}

[Simone Winchester]

Continued From "SHATTERED"


After the last few days, it was a surprisingly uneventful drive that Simi and Ryder took back to New Orleans. When the phone call was over, they agreed on a what they needed to do before hitting the road, took the chance to get cleaned up and then gathered their sparse things. It was with one last, regretful look that the little blond shut the door on her treasured santuary and turned to face her future.

Checking out of the hotel room, the young couple wasted no time gasing up and then hitting the long road back to the place of Simi's birth and her beloved hometown. On the way out of town, they paused at a Wal-Mart for a cheap set of clothing for the witch and then embarked on their long quest.

As the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned to hours, the little blond grew more and more tense until she felt as if she would surely fracture with the slightest rough touch. Thankfully, Ryder seemed to understand this and kept his fingers laced through hers whenever possible. It was the only thing that made the drive possible.

When they could not avoid stopping for a restroom break, food or gas, the hunter was careful to remain as close as possible to her and never allowed her out of his sight any longer than was absolutely necessary. It allowed her comfort because she knew she wasn't alone against this any more and she knew he was here because he wanted to be.

Finally, after almost twenty-four hours, the deep blue Jeep turned off the blacktop exit and on to the well paved driveway that lead up to her family home. As they slowly crawled up the half mile of concrete, Simi caught herself scanning the shadows for anything out of place. Lights beckoned from the house as dusk over took the day but that didn't necessarily mean everything was all clear.

Gripping the door handle so hard that she had no doubt her nails would leave permanent indention's, the little blond tried to calm her nerves but felt as if she might crawl right out of her skin at the least provocation. Finally, the sight of Bastian's car parked in its customary spot came into view and a rush of air escaped her in relief. Some of her fear was alieved in knowing that he had indeed made it home safe and sound.

Then, and only then, did she spy their old "alls well signal" beckoning like a bright star.

On top of the garage, a single praying angel glowed with an almost iridescent light and a dry sob combined with a soft laugh escaped her. Bastian had found a way to light her way home even through the darkness once again. Even after all these years, he'd remembered their secret little signal and had made sure it was on to assure her that she was home safe and sound and everything would be OK.

When Ryder glanced at her questioningly, Simi raised a shaking hand and pointed it at the decoration. Tears sprang to her eyes even as he put the Jeep in park and she tried to explain.

"When I was little... I got lost in the woods between here and the Jordans... I decided to go play with Ash and Tellie without permission and I was only five.... Bastian found me crying beside a tree and I called him my guardian angel.... So from that day on.. we developed a signal between us to tell us what was going on at home... Mama always leaves that stupid angel up all year long so whenever things weren't safe to come home... we'd set it on blink... When it was safe... we'd turn it on completely and allow it to remain lit.... You'd be surprised how many times it came in handy for avoiding Mama when she was angry....."

Ryder gripped the wheel with his left hand, but his right, ah…well, that settled nice and possessively in Simi’s lap. Their fingers were twined together so that he could lift her hand to his lips now and then, and use his finger to drawl circles in her palm every so often and sometimes to squeeze it three times. Every time he did -that- his heart would start pumping extra fast wondering if she would figure out the cryptic meaning behind it. Hell if he could even figure it out for himself. This was so crazy intense.

Of course it was a great relief to him that the blonde witch had spoken to her brother and relayed the message to the rest of her family that she was alive, but a deep dread had taken hold of him as soon as he’d heard that uncanny ring from his cell phone; Hells Bells.
What if she ran into the arms of her beloved sibling and never returned to the cradle of his embrace? What if what she’d needed so frantically, in conjunction with his desperation, had been sated by that one magnificent night?
The mere thought of Simi turning him away now was almost too much for him to bear.

He’d been mostly quiet when they’d checked out, keeping a hopeful smile on his face though he wondered how she didn’t notice it didn’t match his grey-blue stare, but he’d caught her silent, wistful goodbye to the room as well and she probably thought, like her, he was mourning the loss of their solitude.

Ryder had just wanted to keep her….just a few more days. A few more days could have given him the chance to figure out what in the hell was happening to his resolve; he was so shaken by this amazing woman. The young Winchester knew that this couldn’t be something as simple as a crush; one of those rebound affairs that seems to come upon you when you feel lowest and picks you up long enough to realize you’re gonna’ be okay. This was too deeply rooted in him; growing like wild flowers with each passing moment they spend together.

Stretching out his legs as he drove, the hunter ran a hand across the top of his tousled head and then down to his chin. There was a few days worth of growth there now and it was starting to itch something fierce. He needed a shower, big time, and just hoped that Simi wouldn’t retch if and when she gave him that last goodbye hug.

He seriously needed to stop thinking like that because it was driving him crazy.

Ryder was tired and hurting from within, and it was hard enough trying to keep his eyes open let alone on the yellow dotted line in the middle of all that blacktop.
And he didn’t even want to get started on trying to keep his gaze from sliding to the slender blonde knockout sitting shotgun next to him.

Damn, she was beautiful. Simone looked remarkable even in the plain low slung faded jeans and pink hoodie, but he couldn’t help but muse over how she looked even more amazing in his tee-shirt. Would he ever get to see her like that again? God, he hoped so.

Finally, after they’d been on the road for way too long, Simi directed the hunter to her family home, and he watched as her body got tense while they drove up the paved access to the house.
Ryder narrowed his eyes wishing he could read the poignant, but satisfied reflection in those tender azure orbs when Simi let out a soft cry, but it wasn’t long until the little witch was explaining exactly what emotions were driving the happy tears in her eyes.

He couldn’t help the boyish grin that turned up the corners of his lips at the fond reverie of Simone at that young age. The middle Winchester could see her angel face and tear swollen eyes and the look of liberation at being found by her hero. He had seen that same look, only a few years older, on her face a few days before.

Giving her a smile that said everything was going to be okay; Ryder squeezed her knee and then let himself out of the Jeep, going around slowly to the passenger side where he opened her door and invited her out with the extending of his hand.
He clung to her dainty palm as if it were a lifeline while she guided him to the front door, and with each step the hole in his chest grew bigger, deeper.

Just in front of the large entryway Ryder pulled her to a stop, turning her around so he could pull her against him. He opened his mouth to speak; to ask her if she wanted him to walk away now, but he just couldn’t find his voice.
Instead the young hunter smiled; a small, hesitant smile that he hoped looked optimistic instead of the anxiousness that was threatening to sink him.

“The angel is glowing, so I think everything’s going to be okay.” He said simply, not talking about the little seraph on top of the garage as much as the woman before him. He pulled her gently closer, giving her a slow, tender kiss before reluctantly releasing her to open the door to her salvation.

[Simone Winchester]

Home Sweet Home.

There was no doubt that Simi was glad the long drive was over and that she'd be seeing her brother soon but part of her suddenly wanted to ask Ryder to put the truck in drive and get her the hell out of dodge. Truth be told, as much as she wanted to be brave, another part of her wanted to crawl under her companions coat and just hide away. The closer they'd gotten to home, the more her original fears set in and she wondered if she was truly going to be able to do what would have to be done. Just the thought of facing Gregg again made dread pool in her middle and a sick feeling crawl up the back of her throat.

Unfortunately, running away never solved anything either and that is what had landed her right where she was now. This time around, she was going to have to pay the Piper and make him dance to HER tune.

When Ryder came around to open her door and took her hand, Simi allowed him to pull her from the vehicle. Slowly, they walked up the steps and with each footfall, the little blond felt as if the weight of the world had descended on her shoulders once more. What if she'd misread Bastian on the phone? What if she read something in his eyes that she hadn't been able to before? Oh God, why had she let Ryder bring her HOME? Each fear made her grip Ryder's hand harder and when he stopped, turned her towards him and tilted her face to his,she was breathing so quickly that it was a wonder she wasn't hyperventilating.

Then, her eyes met his and an instant calm descended. Gratefully, she edged as close as she could get to him and savored the feel of his lips on hers for the short span of heaven she was allowed. Something flickered across his features when he pulled away and a different kind of terror made her step between him and the door when he went to open it. Desperation clouded her bright eyes as she searched his face for reassurance.


“Ryder....Your .. Your not thinking of leaving are you??” she gasped out in a trembling voice that continued with words tumbling forth like a river rapid. “I .. I can't do this without you, Ry.. Please, I need you..Don't... Don't leave me? Or .. at least, take me with you if thats what you want to do?”

Searching his eyes with blue ones wide with panic, the slim blond barely kept herself from throwing her arms around him and hanging on to him for dear life. The very thought of watching his back as he walked away and out of her life sent anxiety racing through her mind. He'd become something she needed as much as the air she drew in with short, shallow breaths. In fact, probably more so if the quivering in her knees was any indication of her violent reaction to the thought of him leaving her.

Damn, when the hell had she become such a coward? After all, what right did she honestly have to ask him to stick around and fight a battle that should be hers alone? It wasn't as if one night gave her any right to cling to him like he was her last life line to sanity and maybe he was ready to be done with her. Maybe that one night had been enough to calm the storm of need that had glittered in his azure eyes.

After all, it wasn't like she'd been a very good judge of character in the past, right? Maybe.. Maybe she was only reading there what she wanted to and he was just trying to be nice.

That thought had a lump rising in her throat and she searched his face wildly as the world started to take on blackened edges. No...NO... She couldn't believe she'd misread everything so badly... Could she have? If she had, then she was surely going to shatter because she knew deep in her heart that his goodbye WOULD kill her. Gregg would have no need to even show up because Ryder would have already done it with one little word.

[Ryder James Winchester]

Ryder hadn’t been expecting Simi’s reaction at. all. In fact, he’d anticipated the exact opposite. His grey-blue eyes widened in astonishment and his mouth went slack; the words stolen from him by the horrified look on her virtuous face.
To think that the witch had grown attached to the hunter as much as he had her. It was enough to make his heart falter and the breath to leave him on a staggered exhale.

The young Winchester tried to offer her a smile that would ease her worries, but the situation was far too dire for smiles. Instead he shook his head and wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her close to him.
“I told you that first night, Simi…” He whispered quietly, lifting his fingers to brush a stray hair from her glittering cobalt eyes. “I’ll be here as long as you need me. Even longer than that.”

And now he did smile; a slight sideways grin that allowed an amused chortle to escape from his lips.
Simone needed him. She wasn’t going to push him away.

Standing there with both their hearts laid out before one another, the young hunter couldn’t help but wonder what the future would be like if they managed to hunt down the demon and came out of this alive.
Simi was no normal woman. He was a normal man, with a very abnormal profession. Not to mention both of their atypical families.

Ryder’s eyes darted up to the window, where he thought he saw a face there. Stepping back a little, the hunter loosened his hold on Simi, wondering how her older brother would feel about seeing -him- with his baby sister.
It wouldn’t really change the way Ryder felt, but out of respect for both siblings he thought it would be best to let Sebastian hear it from Simone instead of seeing the young hunter with his hands all over her. The eldest James probably wouldn’t understand this right away. Hell. If the situation was reversed and it was Chevrolet in her place, he knew it would take him some getting used to.
The witch had been hurt and it was gonna’ take more than a band-aid and a kiss to make it better, but she was worth the wait.

Ryder let his hand drop to hers and he grasped it gently. “Come on…lets go in before your brother thinks I’m holding you hostage or something.”

[bastian]

Bastian was pacing as he waited for Ryder and Simi to pull up. Things had gone from bad to worse to better, to fucking insane. Yeah, insanity about covered it. This whole damn thing seemed surreal to him. Maybe he was still in shock.

Not to mention the fact that his father was alive. A vampire, but a live. He couldn't tell Simi about that. Not yet, not right now. Not with everything else that was going on. It was too much at the moment. They needed to handle this situation first.

Bastian heard the car pull into the drive. He peeked out the window, gun at the ready in case Gregg or anyone else decided to go after them between car and house. Bastian didn't think Gregg would be that stupid. Or anyone else for that matter. He opened the door and let them in, staring at Simi for several moments.

She stood there, in front of him, his little sister, who had been so hurt and so afraid to tell him. He took in a deep breath, seeing the change in her just standing there. There had always been a light in her eyes and it seemed to be missing now. He hated that. He hated what was done to her, but mostly he hated that he hadn't been able to be there for her.

Reaching out, he took Simi by the hand and pulled her into his arms, hugging her lightly, not wanting to scare her, but needing this. He breathed in her scent, his face buried in her hair, just holding her until he was sure that it was true. That it was really her.

When his heart finally slowed enough and the knot in his throat undid itself Bastian pulled back and looked out her with a smile. "Hey Simi." He kissed her forehead gently. "Welcome home."

Then he noticed Ryder and before Bastian knew what was happening, his fist connected with the other mans nose. "Hey Ryder." He smirked.

[Simone Winchester]

For all of Ryders reassurances, it still took all of Simi's will to turn and face the door. As much as she wanted to open that barrier and run into her brothers arms, she was still very much afraid of what she'd see in his eyes even as her heart told her that Sebastian would never turn away from her.

Luckily, that choice was taken from her as the solid oak swung open and her big brother stood there in the flesh. Swallowing hard, the little witch lifted her sapphire gaze to a matching one and they simple stood there staring at each other even as tears formed in her own eyes. Then, he was pulling her into his arms and the starch that had been holding her upright seemed to leave her spine as she let herself be held in the same arms that had always chased away her childhood nightmares.

"Sebastian..." she whispered, her voice choking in her throat even as she tried to find words to express what she was feeling. Finally, she simply gave up and breathed in his comforting scent. It was enough at the moment to know that she didn't disgust him and he was there.

When he finally pulled back and pulled away, the slender blond wiped at the tears that had silently started to fall again and was just turning to Ryder when Sebastian moved so fast that there was no time to intercept his actions. One moment the middle Winchester was watching them silently and the next... Her big brothers fist met his nose with a resounding "CRUNCH".

Gasping, Simi threw herself forwards with a horrified.

"SEBASTIAN!!!!!" Unfortunately, He was between her and Ryder so it was like shoving against a boulder as she tried to peer over his shoulder. Hopping up and down like a bunny rabbit, she hissed and fretted even as she tried to get to her hero. "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?? RYDER HASNT" DONE ANYTHING!!! HE SAVED MY LIFE, BASTIAN!!!!!!"

Unfortunately, her words fell on deaf ears as the two young men faced each other.

(okies.. short and sweet so that you boys can have your thing!! *sticks out tongue*)

[Ryder James Winchester]

Ryder stood back; a hard knot forming in his stomach when the door opened to reveal a wide-eyed Sebastian James. For a moment there was nothing but the sounds of night around them as the hunter and his baby sister just stared at one another. It seemed like an eternity, and the loudest silence the young Winchester had ever heard.
Suddenly Bas was moving forward and Simi was throwing herself into his arms; the cloud bursting as tears began to rain from her lovely cobalt eyes.

Ryder couldn’t help the flood of emotion that overwhelmed him then. Covetousness was quickly replaced by guilt, and then misery, as all he could see was a scene play out with him and his own younger sibling throwing herself into the cradle of his embrace.

How long had it been since he’d seen her? Or even talked to her on the phone? It had been months; entirely too long. Ryder was so very ashamed.
He wondered if their reunion would be as bitter sweet as the one he stood back, quietly watching. Would Chevrolet forgive and let him back into her life, or would she return the absence he’d granted her since the horrible, desperate night he had left?
The latter was too much to fathom, and so instead the middle Winchester chose to force it from his thoughts, for now.

And then out of no where a fist came flying at him, making contact with his nose with an audible crunch. Blood spattered the front of Ryder’s shirt and he stumbled backwards to land on the frosty ground; the stars and chirping cartoon birds making it awfully hard to comprehend what had just happened.

When he was able to shake the daze from his head the hunter inhaled sharply, seeing red.
Of course he could understand the reason for Sebastian’s lashing out; especially being that he’d probably feel the same if Chey was in Simi’s glass slippers, but he was young, and young meant hot-headed, and hot-headed led to…well…

Pulling him self up to stand, Ryder shot forward, grabbing Bas by the collar of his shirt. “What the hell man?!” He fisted his hand into that material, shaking him back and forth as if he could shake some sense into him. “I’m trying to help your sister, not make an enemy…the fuck was that about?”

And even though Ry would have liked to deck the guy in retaliation of the knuckles to his nose, Simi’s wounded cries distracted him from the anger, instead, reminding him of why they were there. “Look, Bas…let’s talk about this…for Simi’s sake…” And on sheer faith that his witch’s brother would see the logic in this, he let go of Sebastian’s shirt and held his hands up in surrender.

[bastian]

When Ryder grabbed and shook him, Bastian just stood there watching with eyes of hardened blue steel. He didn't make an attempt to stop Ryder. If the Winchester was going to hit him, that was fine. Bastian didn't really care. He had saved Simi's life, and maybe Bastian was just a bit resentful because he felt that he should have been the one there for Simi. Instead he had been shut out and left in the dark.

Bastian didn't blame Simi for that though. He blamed himself. He should have known that something was wrong or that something was going on. He should have kept better tabs on her, been watching out for her. Maybe he wanted to fight Ryder because he thought he deserved some of the blows that were coming his way.

It had not slipped Bastian's mind that he was a failure, both as a son and as a brother. Everyone else had to step in to help Simi because Bastian wasn't good enough. Hell she hadn't even wanted to tell him to begin with. If he was any sort of decent sibling, he knew Simi would have been able to come to him with this. She would have trusted him to help. Instead she trusted Ryder.

His anger was pushed back when he heard Simi's protest and the pain in her voice. He blinked glancing over at her, seeing the hurt in her eyes. Well hell he wasn't getting any brownie points for hitting the guy who had been able to be there for her. When Ryder released him, Bastian straightened his shirt.

"There's nothing to talk about." Turning he walked inside. "Besides,we've got work to do."

[Simone Winchester]

With desperate, agonized eyes, Simi glanced back and forth between the two men who meant the world to her and wanted to cry. How had it come to this? When had things deteriorated so badly? Even more importantly... How was she suppose to fix it? She wasn't blind. She'd seen the savage hurt and self hatred in Bastian's eyes as he turned away but she didn't have a clue as to how to heal the wounds she'd obviously inflicted on him.

Oh yes, she had no doubts why her beloved sibling's eyes flared with blue ice. Heart sick, she reached a hand out to touch him but let it fall as he spoke and then withdrew back into the house. Turning brimming eyes back to Ryder, the little witch wrapped her arms around herself before taking a deep breath and following after the older hunter.

All to soon, they entered her fathers old study and Simi suppressed a shudder as she sank down on the leather sofa that rested before the huge mahogany desk. Out of pure self preservation, her hand searched for Ryders and she sat stiffly as they all felt into tense silence.

How many times had she curled up into a ball in this very seat as a child watching her father go about his business or listening to her mother take care of club things? How many nights had she fallen asleep there after the older James death only to be carried up to bed by Bastian when he found her shiver in the cold? Good memories mingled with bad as she recalled the times being taken to task for misadventures before that very desk.

This was definitely NOT going to be one of the "good" memories.

Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, the young woman stared at the ground and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She felt as if she needed to say something.. To explain... but how was she suppose to explain that she'd been so terrified that rational logic hadn't even come into the equation after "The Incident" as she now dubbed it had happened. All she'd know was fear and desperation as she'd thought about Sebastian's reaction to the truth.

"Bastian....." she started out hoarsely, her voice wracked with emotion. "I'm so... SOOOOO sorry..... I was afraid.... I was so afraid that you would be disgusted by me because it was my own actions that set this course of events into play... I was the one who insisted on living a "normal" life without having everyone from this world checking in on me.. I was the one who naively thought I could actually fit in where I didn't belong.... I know you don't believe it but my silence was never meant to hurt you or any reflection of my faith in you.... I just ..... I just hated myself and the fact that I let myself get into a situation like that.... I hate myself for the lives lost because of my own stupidity.... I didn't want you to see me for the coward I was......."

Letting her voice trail off for a moment, Simi gave him a pleading look.

"And most of all... I was afraid that you would go off the deep end and do something you would later regret. I thought he was simply human at the time... If you'd have killed him or been arrested for hurting him badly..... I would never have been able to live with myself.... I didn't want you punished for the mistakes I made......"

By the time she was finished, tears were once again streaking down her face and her hands twisted in the fabric of her sweatshirt. Her gaze shot to Ryder's for reassurance before she forced herself to go on. Turning her attention back to her brother, she choked out hoarsely.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian..... More than you can imagine....I've fucked up royally and ......... I'm... I'm just sorry......."

[Ryder James Winchester]

Okay…nothing to talk about? Then why did Ryder have the strange feeling that as soon as they were alone Sebastian was going to finish what he started? He dropped his hands to his sides and clenched his fists and his jaw; mostly to keep from running off at the mouth and saying something he’d regret later. Simi didn’t need shit between he and her elder sibling making things worse.
So what exactly was going on here? Did Sebastian some how know what had taken place between he and Simi in the hotel room? If the hunter -did- Ryder couldn’t fault him for seeing red. After what those men had done to her the middle Winchester imagined that her older brother would have liked to put a hurt on any man that would even attempt to touch her in that way. But it wasn’t like that between him and the witch; not in the slightest…

He watched the older hunter turn away and head into the house, and his eyes darted to Simi’s, which were filled with pain and confusion. Damn it. If he felt like decking Bastian before, now he felt like doing it a few more times, and with purpose. The witch was already hurting enough. Didn’t the man know he wasn’t making things any easier on her? The blame game or whatever he was playing could wait. Right now the only thing that mattered was taking care of the wounded woman and taking out the demon that had done it.
Shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, Ryder followed indolently behind the seraph, his gaze darting around a place he was all too familiar with. Bastian was a little bit older than he was, but there was a time he had thought him and the man were good friends. There had been many a night Bas, Ben, and he had hung out in this very study; foolishly drooling over half naked girls in magazines they’d swiped from Dean’s garage. Right now all the young Winchester could feel was a cold glass wall up between them. He desperately wanted to put a bullet right in the center so he could break through.

Dropping down next to Simi on the couch, Ryder grasped the seeking hand and squeezed it gently; one, two, three times.
It killed him to see the woman so upset, explaining and apologizing to her brother her reasons for running away, and he wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her there was no reason for confessions or requests for forgiveness. Simi had done what she needed to do; for self preservation. If not for the very act of staying alive or keeping her loved ones safe, but keeping herself from loosing it completely.

If anyone knew this truth, it was him. He had done the very same thing.

Ryder wanted to tell her so, but he didn’t. Right now he clenched his jaw tighter and leaned into the couch, patiently waiting. This was between a brother and a sister.

[bastian]

Wandering over Bastian grabbed the whiskey that his father used to keep in his desk. Popping the top he took a long swig before replacing it and keeping his mouth shut while Simi explained herself. Bastian didn't want her to explain herself. He didn't want her to be sorry.

In fact he held up a hand to stop her. "Sims, this isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, all right?" She hadn't. He knew that. Honestly he did, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why she had felt safer with the Ryder Winchester than with her own brother. Made him feel like one hell of a winner.

Sitting down in his father's old chair he looked over at the two of them,saw them holding hands and raised a brow, but didn't ask. Now wasn't the time anyways. There were more important things. Like shredding a demon into flank steaks. Or worse if you could. His gaze darkened as he thought about what he was going to do Gregg, what he wanted to do to the fucking humans who had hurt his sister. He honestly wanted to kill them all.

Bastian looked over at Simi, noting how she was so quick to apologize when before she would have told him to shut up and they would have argue it out. He didn't like this self conscious version of her at all. "Don't be sorry Sims," He told her quietly. "You have nothing to apologize for."

He felt like taking another shot, but instead he leaned back in the chair. "Do we know if Gregg is on his way?" He asked lacing his fingers behind his head. "There are devils traps at all the entrances and a few farther in just case the sneaky bastard gets by them somehow."