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Post by prim on Feb 24, 2011 23:26:58 GMT -5
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • SOMETIMES Prim wondered how exactly she got into these situations, and repeat back the steps in her mind that led to her current predicament. Tonight however, she really couldn’t pick out where it had gone wrong. After all, the suggestion of hitting a movie always seemed like an innocent one, yet here she was, leaning back against the wall of an alley, keeping lookout whilst Leo fiddled with a lock next to her. Sometimes, Prim really did wonder just how she managed it, and longed for some form of foresight to at least hint at what was coming – then at least she might have chosen better footwear. There was no way in hell she could run in these.
Glancing once more over her shoulders, they were blocked on one side at least by a large dumpster, leaving her mostly with the job of looking around the way they had come in. One good thing about going to see a midnight showing of the Adam Sandler movie? Not a whole lot of people milling around on the streets at this time – though how they had progressed from a movie to breaking and entering, Prim was neither a hundred percent sure or comfortable with it.
Her eyes glanced over at him when she heard something click, and sure enough he pushed the door open, disappearing inside. Pulling his jacket tighter around herself (after discovering that they weren’t going to see the film just yet, she had demanded the faded leather to keep her arms warm) she waited a moment before following him in, closing the door quietly behind her and glancing around. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, before she could make out his shape moving around the shop and she frowned, creeping over to him.
”Leo, What are we doing?”She asked, her hushed tones sounding loud to her ears in the near silence of the shop. She frowned when he didn’t reply, and she reached out with her hand to tap him on the shoulder , draw his attention. ”Leo?” She asked again, frowning slightly. Except, the shoulder she touched did not belong to Leo, but a man with blonde curls, a man who spun around and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her up closer to him and very nearly yanking the slight girl from her feet. Even in her heels, she was practically on tiptoe trying to prevent her arm from pulled from it’s socket, yelping at the sudden pain.
”Ow! Please! Let me go! I’m sorry, i didn’t mean too, please... I didn’t take anything!” Remind me again, exactly how she managed to get herself into these situations?
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Post by 'Lucky' Leo Barone on Feb 26, 2011 16:08:13 GMT -5
With a curse, Leo eyed the stubborn lock in front of him with a frown. He could feel Prim’s eyes on the back of his neck, and ducked his head as he shoved his picks back into the small hole. Gah, from the way she was staring at him, he just KNEW that she wasn’t amused. That morning, he’d promised her a night out on the town, and personally, he’d had one of the best times of his life. They’d toured the tourist traps he’d always been too high and mighty to try out, did lunch in a restaurant with an actual waiter, and explored without a care. Then night had fallen and they’d gone to a fancy place for dinner, and Leo had held her hand under candlelight.
He hadn’t felt scared, he thought with yet another flash of surprise. He hadn’t felt pressured, or anxious that the girl in question was about to trap him. Hell, he hadn’t even felt corny for making himself look like he was in some kind of really bad romance movie. There was a sense of…calm, almost. Like when he was with Prim, he knew exactly where he stood in the world and didn’t have to fight to be better than the next man.
His life had always been about that; about landing the next big score so that he could retire. He wanted the money, the prestige, the island in the Pacific where he could lie on the beach and stay there. But when he was with this little woman…fuck, man, he felt like he already owned the world.
…Okay, scratch that, he WAS feeling scared. Holy crap, what was wrong with him?
“Ah, there we go,” He murmured, as the lock sprang and the door popped open. Glancing at her over his shoulder, he managed a confident smile. “Look, I just have to get something real quick, okay? Just stay close to me, and stay quiet. We’ll be at the movie in no time.”
Damn, but he hated the unsure look on her face. In all truthfulness, he hadn’t expected to do any B&E’s on their way to the theater, but, like clockwork, when they’d passed the little mom and pop antique shop, he’d started to vibrate. He could feel the strum of energy coming from the place; could feel his insides calibrating themselves to it, until he was buzzing almost as much as it was. He could feel it humming, calling out to them, and as always, he couldn’t resist the pull. Hell…maybe it would be powerful enough to break her deal? Or to trade with the demon to get her soul back?
In any case, he’d convinced his friend to help him break in, and now felt horrible about it. He’d promised her a good day, and was now implicating her in a robbery. Wonderful.
Telling himself that he would do it fast, then get her to the movie before it started, Leo quickly moved inside. It was like his intestines had become some kind of really annoying compass, and he followed the buzzing until he reached a little wooden box near the front. Keeping low, he made sure he wasn’t visible by the front windows, and pulled it into his lap.
Carefully- one could never know which magical object was made for making bunny rabbits, and which were the ethereal version of dynamite- he opened the lid…and frowned. Inside the box lay a rusted medal; the kind normally pinned on old school generals, or other soldiers. This was the big, bad object that had his insides vibrating like a dirty toy? THIS?
With a disgusted sigh, he yanked it out of the box and headed toward the back, where he knew Prim just be waiting. But, upon seeing a bulky form blocking her way into the storm and heard her frightened voice, all such thoughts disappeared. With a curse, he sprang at the man and shoved him toward the wall. Surprised, Prim’s ‘assailant’ released her and careened into a shelf of knickknacks.
Before he could rise, Leo grabbed her hand and charged toward the door with a sideways ‘RUN!’ and dragged her toward the alleyway door. Almost to freedom; they were almost to freedom! Throwing open the door, he ran through—
And stopped when he looked at the wide, beige hallway before him. What the fuck…where had the alley gone?
Completely confused, Leo glanced behind him, thinking he’d see the antique shop. But, lo and behold, there was just more hallway…and no Prim. Panic descended there, and proceeded to increase when he looked down at himself and realized that his casual jeans and tshirt had been replaced by a white general's coat, red pants and…medals.
Medals, which included the one he’d just stolen. Okay, this was REALLY messed up.
"This is just a dream, this is just a dream...PRIM!"
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Post by prim on Feb 26, 2011 17:38:37 GMT -5
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • SQUIRMING in this other mans grasp, Prim tried to twist herself free. Whenever had she thought that book club – that spending her free time reading textbooks on animal biology was a better idea than learning tai kwon do or karate? When had she thought that knowing how to stitch up a wounded paw would be more useful than knowing how to kick someone’s ass; especially when she lived in a slightly down and out area of New York?
Damn if she wasn’t about to sign up for classes first thing in the morning.
Not that primrose Thatcher could ever intentionally hurt anyone; be it in self defence or not, but at least she could fool herself into thinking she could, into thinking that she could get herself away from a mugger or murderer alive. Or at the very least uninjured.
Letting out a little whimper when he twisted her wrist, any thoughts of possibly kicking him in the groin were pushed out by a fresh wave of pain pulsating along her arm. She didn’t notice Leo come flying out of nowhere, though the only reason she managed to stay on her feet once she had been dropped was because Leo grabbed her hand, pulling her with him as he fled. Staggering behind him Prim once more cursed her heels, and ran.
Straight into a wall.
Falling to the floor, Prim gazed up at a ceiling that swirled above her, and raised a hand to her head, fingers grazing a rapidly forming bump that made her wince when she pressed her digits tenderly to it. ”Owwww”She murmured, for a moment disorientated as she lifted her other hand to her head, pressing the heel of her palms into her eyes. It took another moment for the girl to realise she should be running, and Prim got quickly to her feet, glancing around for Leo.
But Leo wasn’t there, despite that she had had hold of his hand only a few seconds before. Her eyes widened in panic as she looked around, and it was with a sharp inhalation that she realised she wasn’t only alone, but she wasn’t even in the shop anymore. She wasn’t even in her own clothes anymore. Prim leant back against the wall and fisted the material that swished around her calves, examining it in disbelief before dropping it and running her hands down her sides. The fabric was rough, worn and faded, the edges tattered and frayed beyond belief.
What the hell?
Once more Prim lifted her hand to her head, feeling the bump and sighed. This had to be a dream. That was it. She’d ran into the door frame, and now she was having a dream brought on by being knocked out with a concussion.
Except – she’d never had one of those dreams where people realise they are dreaming. She’d never heard of anyone having one in fact outside of the movies or the books she read whilst curled up in bed. And there was no way that smell was a figment of her own imagination. Panicking, Prim’s eyes searched out a way from this room, falling on a set of stairs. Running for them, she tripped on the roughly carved stone and stumbled into a kitchen, bustling with girls in similar dress to her own, busy preparing for something. Well. She definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
Straightening, she looked nervously around and chewed on her lip, nibbling the skin when someone grabbed her arm.
”Did you get the cheese? No? Nevermind, come on – we need to take these up to the Princes room before your mother gets there, or she’ll have both our necks. Come on!”
Prim blinked as a tray was placed in her arms and she was pushed forwards after the girl who had just spoken. What the hell was going on? Prince? Mother?
What?
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Post by 'Lucky' Leo Barone on Mar 3, 2011 9:10:27 GMT -5
Okay, so either he’d walked face first into a door and was how hallucinating…or something really freaky-deaky was going down. Like some kind of spinny toy, he kept whirling around and around, waiting for the lavish hallway to change back to the dirty alleyway they’d just been in. What the hell was going on? Did it involve the medal he’s stolen? And, more importantly, where the HELL was Prim?!
Looking down at himself, Leo let loose a very undignified squawk as he took in his clothes again. It was followed by another, as he turned and managed to catch a glance at himself in the mirror, and another when he realized that he was now the not-so-proud owner of a head of raven black hair.
Ah gah, he’d been kidnapped by a magical medal and it had died his hair! How frikkin SICK was this shit?
”Ah, there you are, Highness!” A happy voice rang out in the hall, causing the now freaking out ex-thief to whirl around. A middle aged man with spectacles- yep, actual spectacles- and a blue shirt lined with medals, beamed at him. When he started hurrying down the hall toward him, Leo had to bite back the urge to run in the opposite direction. Anyone calling him a ‘Highness’ had to be given a minute, right? ”Really, I don’t know why you wandered off to quickly! Your breakfast is already set in your room, so please. Come along, Majesty.”
In a daze, he allowed himself to be led and just managed not to bean the guy with the nearest vase. Okay, he had to think. So…all of this crap, whatever the hell it was, happened after he’d taken the medal. Maybe it was some kind of portal-maker? And he was standing in some alternate universe? A trippy alternate universe, sure, but…maybe that was it. He’d done some reading once he started to notice some strange stuff about himself, and knew that there were indeed objects with enough power to rip holes in time and space. He’d been really drawn to the thing; maybe this was the reason why.
With some bowing, scraping and ‘I’ll leave you to your meal’s,’ Leo was left alone in the biggest bedroom he’d ever seen. Mouth falling open, he took in the surroundings with huge eyes. Good Lord…that was some bed. And were those candlesticks gold? Almost frantically, he started looking around for a sack of some kind.
Hell, when the medal was ready to send him back home, it would sure as hell be with some mullah…ooh, pillowcase! He could definitely use that as a—
Snapping back from his immaculately made bed, he looked toward the door as two women in maidservant outfits hurried in. Platters of food were placed on the wide table near the bed, and each lady curtseyed to him before they left.
Then, looking as scared and confused as he felt, a girl who looked strikingly familiar appeared and hovered in the doorway. With a relieved whoop, he practically charged toward her.
”Prim!” Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her into a bear hug. ”Ah thank GAH. You’re here! You’re alive! Look, I HAVE BLACK HAIR!”
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Post by prim on Mar 3, 2011 13:35:14 GMT -5
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • SHE’D SNAPPED . That’s what Prim was beginning to think had happened after all. She’d finally snapped, and this was all some crazy ass delusion she was on because they hadn’t figured out which meds t give her yet. She was going to come too in a white cell, cuddling herself with one of those jackets, and a weekly hours session with her therapist. But hell, if she was going to spend the next couple of hours in a delusion, at least this place was pretty. Following the girl who had just spoken to her, and another who joined the head of their little line, Prim couldn’t help but glance around as they left the kitchen up a set of stairs, and up into the main part of this house.
No. Not house. Palace. Seriously? She was having delusions about a palace, and she was a serving girl? Wow, she had some problems with her self confidence right there.
Her head swivelling around as she took in the palace Prim was surprised by the sheer number of people already here, and all of them looked busy, putting up flowers, garlands, running around. What was happening? Suddenly jostled by a tall girl with a large feather in her hair, Prim struggled to keep hold of her tray, only just managing to keep her balance as grapes went rolling across the silver. ”Cinderella! Watch were you are going! You nearly got milk all over my new dress. When you’ve done with that tray, Mother wants to see you in Anastasia’s room. Don’t stand there gawping, go! .” Prim blinked at this girl with long dark hair as she span and walked off. Cinderella? Huh? Looking over her shoulder. Prim could only presume she had been talking to someone else, someone who had already run of to do that errand. Who the hell was Anastasia? And to be honest, she had to feel sorry for the poor girl named after that silly Fairytale.
Glancing around, she caught site of the other two maidservants disappearing up a flight of stairs and followed after them, depositing her tray with the others when she was suddenly pulled into a hug. Stunned for a moment, it took her a moment to realise that this dark haired man was Leo. Wrapping her arms around him she let out a small little laugh as she was lifted from the floor.
”It is, it’s black! What’s going on? Where are we? I ran into a wall, and i thought i was having a delusion or something... but you're here too!”She was mumbling, the words falling from her mouth before she was interrupted by someone clearing her throat. Turning her head, Prim was met with daggers as another tall woman entered, a mass of grey hair piled into a tight bun atop her head, and a long purple dress that gave the false impression the woman was gliding.
”Your majesty, ”She said, Dipping low, ”Is this servant girl Bothering you? I can have her thrown in the dungeons if it appeases you... i would presume the last thing you need right now, what with the impending wedding, is a silly little girl getting in your way.”
Prim’s eyes widened as she looked up at Leo. Your majesty? How come he got to be your majesty, and she was sent to fetch cheese?
”Cinderella, Release the prince this instant and continue with your duties – I believe I called for you almost an hour ago. Anastasia needs help with her dress. Now.”
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Post by 'Lucky' Leo Barone on Mar 12, 2011 10:43:22 GMT -5
For a minute there, Leo was quite content to swing his poor friend around while chanting something along the lines of ‘it’s Primmy! It’s Primmy!’ But, like the metaphorical dark cloud, a voice boomed out over his happy squealing, causing him to trip on his own two feet in surprise. What the fuuuuuck? Who was the Nurse Ratchet look alike over there? And…why was she looking at him?
Damn, there were just some moments when he really wished his ‘witch’ powers let him shoot lightning bolts out of his eyes, or something. But no, he just HAD to be the only freaking freak who tingled instead of did the scary stuff with the spells. He just HAD to be.
It was as though the older lady’s words were moving through molasses; he couldn’t understand what she was saying. ‘Your Highness?’ ‘Dungeons?’ ‘CINDARELLA?!’ Holy mother of GOD, what the hell was going on?
Given Ratchet’s face, he was sure that all the freak-out panic he was currently feeling was written on his own. It was obvious that she wanted to walk right over there and yank Prim from where she was attached around his waist, but the subtle clench of his arms around her made her pause. The wheels were turning in that graying head of hers, and Leo felt the sudden urge to take the high road.
Aka, throw something at her head and run like all holy fuck.
But no, he couldn’t do that, he told himself. People were calling him ‘Highness,’ they were obviously stuck in a land not their own…hell, if that freaking medal had transported them into another universe, or something, they’d have to play along. He doubted that being the good boy would get them back to their own world, but…okay, one thing to remember was that most fairytales were set in certain time periods. Didn’t the one with the ‘dungeons’ also have very lenient death penalties?
Oh yeah, he was gonna be a good boy. A GOOD BOY.
Or maybe just a Prince Charming. He was biting back a grin at that point, and with a flourish that would have made his high school drama teacher proud, straightened to his full height and whipped around. He put his most haughty expression on his face and kept an arm around ‘Cinderella,’ while raising a brow at the old lady.
”I’m sorry, were you just ordering one of my servants?” He said, voice as smooth as he could make it. ”I believe that if she were bothering me, I would have dismissed her. Don’t you know about the therapeutic advantages of happy hugs? Didn’t think so. Now, you can go tell Anastasia that you will be helping her with her dress. I dare say you’re capable of that, at least. Hmm?”
The other woman just gaped at him, her mouth working. But, when Leo’s other brow raised, she seemed to gather herself. With a bow and an evil look thrown at Prim, she turned and left the room.
Upon which time Leo’s legs proceeded to wilt. With a sigh, he leaned against his friend and the wall behind them. ”Well, that wasn’t a nice look she gave you,” He said, his voice a bit strained. ”Looked like it could melt paint off the walls. But…Primmy? Please tell me that she didn’t just call you Cinderella. ‘Cause if she did…I think I’m Prince Charming.”
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Post by prim on Mar 12, 2011 20:49:16 GMT -5
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • DUNGEONS? Dark, creepy, wet places? Small confined area’s where she wouldn’t be able to see her hand in front of her face? No. Prim definitely did not like that idea, and the look of sheer panic crossed her features when the older woman mentioned it was akin to that of a deer caught in the headlights of an SUV, draining her alabaster skin of the slight colour it usually managed to retain. Prince charming? From the way Leo stood up to her, and pretty much saved her from such a trip, he might as well have been freakin’ Batman – though Prim got the impression that should they ever run into each other again the old crone was not going to simply let the instance pass.
”I thought she was going to vaporise me or something” Prim shuddered, leaning against the wall with him, and glancing around the room properly for the first time. It really was rather large...and seriously? Was that a bed? It was basically the size of her living room! ”Cinderella? I don’t know... i think someone downstairs called me that too... What the hell is going on leo? Is this some kind of shared delusion?” She pulled away from him, running a hand through her hair and pulling one of the locks down to chew on it as she paced around the room.
What the hell was going on? Prince charming? Cinderella? Was this supposed to be... what? A fairytale? Prim moved over to the bed and sunk to the floor, leaning back against the wooden frame and pulling one of the blonde locks from her mouth... and pausing for a second. Wait. What? Blonde? But she’d dyed it back brown this morning. Damn it.... Sighing, Prim pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. ”Are we stuck here Leo? What are we supposed to do? Follow the fairytale?” Resting her chin on her knees she looked over at him, her green eyes searching his face. ”At least you’re a good looking Prince Charming”She teased, but the words were weak, a failed attempt at trying to lighten the mood within the room.
”Is this what happens every time you disappear, or this just a one off?”
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Post by 'Lucky' Leo Barone on Mar 19, 2011 15:39:26 GMT -5
Shoving a hand through his now black hair, Leo just shook his head and glanced around the room. Man, on any other day, if he’d woken up to THIS kind of happy ending, he’d have forgone with the questions and accepted the fact that he was rich. This was what he wanted all along, right? To have enough money to buy his own island, or to live in a house three times this size. It was why he worked in his business; slowly squirreling away all of the dough that he earned.
And yet, when he’d had visions of being the next Bill Gates, he’d always pictured his servants calling him ‘Mr. Barone,’ rather than ‘Prince Charming.’ Good Lord, even the THOUGHT of him being compared to that dude in the cartoon was almost too much to take with a straight face. Obviously, Fate had one hell of a sense of humor.
Giving Prim a little nudge with his shoulder, he put an arm around her and pulled her against his side. They hadn’t exactly had a lot of time between the other night and their current predicament to actually talk about what happened, and God knew that Leo was all mixed up inside. Half of him wanted to run through the charade and play the Prince; escape from the reality he knew was waiting on the other side of…wherever they were. But the other half, the stronger half, couldn’t help but notice how perfect the entire situation was.
In the story, Cinderella was the Prince’s one and only. And him…well, he’d always known that Prim was special. Maybe there was a reason why they’d fallen into these specific roles?
With a mental smack, he forced his mind off of those thoughts and focused on what Prim was saying. He’d have all the time in the world to mentally debate what was going on between them. Right now, he had to focus on the problem at hand; the fact that he was Prince Charming, and she was Cinderella.
”No, I don’t think it’s a delusion,” He said, eyeing the door as if expecting that grey haired witch-woman to come back. ”’Cause if you were in my hallucination, there would definitely be some dancing lobsters and Playboy Bunnies. I think this might be the thing I stole from that shop. It must have transported us into another world.”
Cringing at the knowledge that this was all his fault, Leo ducked his head and glared at the medals on his chest. ”No, this’ never happened to me. As for what to do…I think we should follow the fairytale. If we mess up the story, who knows what’ll happen? We both might be thrown into the dungeon for being ‘crazy’ by the locals.”
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Post by prim on Mar 19, 2011 18:31:37 GMT -5
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • PRIM shuddered again at the thought of dungeons, and lent once more into Leo’s side a little, taking comfort in his solidity and familiarity in a world that seemed pretty intent at turning them on their heads and giving them a good old shake for measure. Oh. And don’t forget the new hair do’s. She let her head fall onto his shoulder for a long moment, thinking over what he had said.
If this was Cinderella, then playing along with the story, for now at least, didn’t seem like such a bad idea. After all, nothing bad really happened in Cinderella did it? Well, besides the ugly stepsisters cutting of their toes to fit into the glass slipper, but maybe this would be the Disney version, and that wouldn’t happen and it would all be a happy ending.... Prim’s cheeks turned scarlet for a second as she recalled just what happened at the end of this fairytale – hell at the end of most fairytales. Not that being married to Leo would be a bad thing, but. Well. After what had happened the other night, that was step too far into their already complicated relationship, didn’t you think? Still, hopefully they’d figure this entire thing out before it got that far.
”Okay.”She said finally, and got to her feet, smoothing down the wrinkles in her dress. ”I guess if we’re going to do this, I should go help Anastasia with her dress.” She grinned and gave a little twirl, sending her skirts floating around her knees. Curtsying, she pushed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, and wrapped her arms around Leo’s waist quickly, a parting hug before she went and carried on with her maid’s duties. ”See you at the ball, prince charming. Guess i’ll be the one in the dress.” With that, prim left, wandering back out into the corridor to find Anastasia’s room.
It took three tries before she found the right room, and by the time she had reached the fourth Prims head was spinning form being yelled at. Wandering quietly into the room, Prim stood with her head bowed a little, as she had seen the other maids do, and waited for her instruction. ”You called for me?” She asked, looking up and smiling a little at the girl stood surrounded by mirror in a white gown that could only be described as beautiful. Shame about the girl in it... prim wasn’t judgemental... but if this was a fairytale, then she was one of the ugly sisters. Anastasia. What she wasn’t expecting however, was to be grabbed by the arms from behind bu two men dressed as guards, or for the spiteful looking old woman to suddenly be stood in front of her, her features twisted into one of hate.
”How dare you talk to the Prince, you spiteful evil little girl!”She hissed, and Prim could only blink in confusion. What? ”How dare you try and ruin your sister’s wedding day! You know she’s here to marry the prince, and you’re just jealous that the slipper fit her foot! You tried to take the prince away from her once with that trick you played at the ball; I will not let you do it again!”
Wait... the ball had already been? Anastasia was the one marrying Leo? What the hell was going on? ”Wait, no! This is wrong! He’s not supposed to Mary Anastasia, he’s supposed to marry Cinderella! Let me go! ” Prim pulled against the men who held her arms, but they simply lifted her from her feet, holding her in a grip strong enough to leave bruises on her arms.
”Stupid girl, listen to her! She obviously raving mad! Throw her in the dungeons with her friend until after the wedding, then put her on the first ship out of here. She is not going to ruin the royal wedding with her delusions!” She said with a sneer, and prim only fought harder against her captors as they began to carry her from the room.
”No! Let me go! Leo! Help me!”Prim tried everything, screaming, yelling, kicking out with her feet, but nothing worked, the guards releasing her only to throw her into the dungeons, a dark cellar that was as wet, stinking and miserable as she had imagined. She banged on the door with her fists but they were already gone. Leaning against the cold stones of her cell wall, Prim buried her face in her hands until a whimper to her left dragged her from her sorrow. Squinting, she could just about make someone hanging limply from the wall, held in place by the cuffs at her wrists. Prim closed the gap quickly, and lifted his hanging head in her hands. ”Hello? Are you ok? Can you hear me? I’m going to see if I can get you down...”Letting his face go once more, prim squinted in the dungeons gloom, and tried to undo the fastenings at his wrists, let him down from the wall.
What the hell kind of twisted fairytale was this?
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Post by caleb on Mar 21, 2011 16:35:52 GMT -5
Unfortunately for Prim, immediately after she’d left his suite to fulfill her part of the strange fairytale, Leo found himself accosted by his ‘footmen’ and shoved into the itchiest tux he’d ever worn. Kicking and screaming- literally, at one point- he was poked, prodded and finally dragged out into the courtyard, where his ‘father’ proceeded to instruct him on the rituals to the marriage ceremony.
Even his friend, stuck down in the deepest, darkest parts of the palace dungeons should have heard the man’s girlish screams when he realized that the ceremony wasn’t code for something Princely.
But Caleb had no knowledge of any of this; chained to the wall as he was. In the past 24 hours, he’d been insulted by his ex-girlfriend, threatened by a gang he was trying to do business with, beat on by some cowboy cops and then had his head bashed in by a girl dressed like a medieval servant who obviously didn’t like his showing up out of nowhere. He was bruised, bleeding, bleary eyed and was certain that his arms were about to pop right off of his body and start marching in strike around his feet.
…All in all, it was turning out to be a pretty good day, considering.
The sounds of a woman’s voice yelling forced his mind to surface from the comforting darkness of unconsciousness. He didn’t want to surface; would rather not think about the fact that the people who threw him in the dungeon in the first place had called him the wanted criminal ‘Fairy Godmother,’ or the fact that, when he jerked his hands up to protect himself from a set of pointy spears, colorful dust erupted from his fingertips and sent the soldiers flying back. That was just about when that bitch of a servant girl came swooping in to save the goddamn day, giving him the headaches to rule all headaches and got his ass thrown down onto the musty smelling dungeon.
He had no idea how long he’d been hanging there, with a pair of metal gloves over his hands, but from the way his shoulders were aching, it was long enough.
That feminine voice sounded again, closer this time, and Caleb groaned as it pinged around the inside of his skull. Gah, would she stop the yelling? Aunty Em, let him off the damn rollercoaster…fuuuck, this was the first hangover on the planet, man!
”Yeah, I can frikken hear you lady…stop talking so loud. My concussion fuckin’ hates you.”
Squinting into the darkness in front of his face, he did his best to make out the woman’s face as she hurried over, intent on freeing him from his bonds. It took his brain a minute to reboot and when it did, he didn’t need the face. He knew that voice!
”Wait, God, Prim, is that you? Baby, if I could see you, you are a sight for really sore eyes. How the hell did you wind up in this place too? And what the fuck is going on…oh, hey, nice dress. It’s cut lower than your normal stuff…yup, I knew you were nice all over.”
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