been a while since i felt butterflies (( stuart

[Delilah Jade Cross]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/58b4K.jpg);width: 500px; height: 450px;border: solid #000 5px; -moz-border-radius: 70px 5px 20px 5px; border: 2px solid #333;] She grinned against his lips and fully embraced him, kissing him back and holding onto his hair as she held him. She was shaking in his arms, her chest quivering and her heart basically promising to break through her the cage her ribs posed for it. She breathed hard through her nose and onto his face and held her lips desperately to his with every twist, her face contorting, brows furrowing. With her less than 'motherly' attire and her tear stained cheeks, she was the image of a train wreck, and it was realizing this fact, realizing who and what she was that caused her to tug her face away, lips resisting for a moment before leaving his with a tug. "Stu I can't do this.... I'm not who you think I am!!" She couldn't help but feel she was breaking his heart by saying it, but god knew she was breaking her own.

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MADE BY MEGGSIEMOO OF OUT OF THE ASHES

[stuartpenbrook]

[atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f5f5f5; width: 440px; padding: 4px;, bTable] [STYLE=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 55px; color: d5d5d5; text-transform: lowercase; margin-top: -20px; letter-spacing: -5px; border-bottom: 2px solid #e4e4e4; line-height: 45px; width: 320px;]TICK TACK TICK TACK[/style] [STYLE=background: url(http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af58/lunakids/josh17-1.png); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: 3px solid #e4e4e4; float: right; padding: 3px; margin-top: -56px; ] [/style] [STYLE= font-family: arial; font-size: 70px; color:eaeaea; float: left; margin-top: -14px;]⚜[/style] [STYLE= text-align: justify; width: 250px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-style: italic; padding: 3px; color: c5c5c5;]"TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE KIMI DAKE AISHITERU SORE KIMOCHI WA KAWARANAI OH BOKURA NI WA KASANATTE KITA SUTEKI NA OMOIDE MO ARUKEDO KONO YONI ASUROSU GOSANAI KARA OOKINA OH SO"[/STYLE] [STYLE=background-color: eeeeee; text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; color: 909090; letter-spacing: 1px; border-bottom: 1px solid e6e6e6; line-height: 16px;]TO LIE I SHALL SING IT FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: ababab; font-style: italic;]NOTES ● keep it short pl0x ● LYRICS ● tick tack, u-kiss ● CREDITS ● rayah! of btn![/style] [STYLE=background-color: ebebeb; text-align: justify; padding: 3px; color: 888888; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px;] He frowned when he met resistance, his brows furrowing deep into his forehead when she pulled away. He didn’t understand… he didn’t know why she would say yes and then change her mind… why she would give into him and hold him only to then pull her lips from his. But, the pain caused by her resistance was nothing to the shattering impact of her words. Blinking, he instinctively stepped towards her, then let his hands drops to his sides. "What? No! don’t do this Delilah I know what you are! I know who you are ! in here!" Stuart pressed his hand against his heart, looked at her in earnest. "I know what you are where it counts!" [/style]

[Delilah Jade Cross]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/58b4K.jpg);width: 500px; height: 450px;border: solid #000 5px; -moz-border-radius: 70px 5px 20px 5px; border: 2px solid #333;] With a slight tremble, Delilah pulled her hands up to cover the hand her placed upon her chest, spindly fingers encasing his and winding around them. "I was never the person everyone thought I was, my reputation proceeded me and no one stuck around long enough to get to know that.... But when I lost you.... I became the person I hated..... The last conversation I had with Paige she told me I'd become lost and selfish and it's true! I felt so worthless.... I felt like.... If people were going to say these things about me... They might as well be true... I was already suffering through it! It took me six years to find someone that actually spoke to me without looking at me like I was dirt and I.... I'm not sure how to just go back to the person in here......... And the person I am isn't good enough for you."

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[/center]

MADE BY MEGGSIEMOO OF OUT OF THE ASHES

[stuartpenbrook]

[atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f5f5f5; width: 440px; padding: 4px;, bTable] [STYLE=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 55px; color: d5d5d5; text-transform: lowercase; margin-top: -20px; letter-spacing: -5px; border-bottom: 2px solid #e4e4e4; line-height: 45px; width: 320px;]TICK TACK TICK TACK[/style] [STYLE=background: url(http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af58/lunakids/josh17-1.png); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: 3px solid #e4e4e4; float: right; padding: 3px; margin-top: -56px; ] [/style] [STYLE= font-family: arial; font-size: 70px; color:eaeaea; float: left; margin-top: -14px;]⚜[/style] [STYLE= text-align: justify; width: 250px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-style: italic; padding: 3px; color: c5c5c5;]"TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE KIMI DAKE AISHITERU SORE KIMOCHI WA KAWARANAI OH BOKURA NI WA KASANATTE KITA SUTEKI NA OMOIDE MO ARUKEDO KONO YONI ASUROSU GOSANAI KARA OOKINA OH SO"[/STYLE] [STYLE=background-color: eeeeee; text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; color: 909090; letter-spacing: 1px; border-bottom: 1px solid e6e6e6; line-height: 16px;]TO LIE I SHALL SING IT FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: ababab; font-style: italic;]NOTES ● keep it short pl0x ● LYRICS ● tick tack, u-kiss ● CREDITS ● rayah! of btn![/style] [STYLE=background-color: ebebeb; text-align: justify; padding: 3px; color: 888888; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px;] Dumbfounded. That was the only word that could be used to describe him in those moments. He didn’t know how to react to what he was being told. Here she was. Everything he had wanted. Everything he had ever wanted. And she was trying to pull away. Trying to leave him again. And he got the impression that little could be done to change her mind or convince her the ideas she believed were wrong. It would be like trying to turn a catholic priest Mormon. "I need you Delilah…. Don’t leave me again…." he tried closing the distance, stepping towards her. [/style]

[Delilah Jade Cross]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/58b4K.jpg);width: 500px; height: 450px;border: solid #000 5px; -moz-border-radius: 70px 5px 20px 5px; border: 2px solid #333;] The first few times that she attempted to speak, her words fought her. She was like a fish out of water, floundering about helplessly. He eyes locked onto his, able to see the love and desperation in them but there was clearly so much pain in hers. Sometimes she still felt like the scared seventeen year old, and she wasn't sure whether she preferred that to the person that felt so old beyond her years that fun seemed impossible to her. "I'm a stripper...." Not exactly everyone's ideal mother figure for their child, even if she is biologically his mother. "Worse I've.... I've been selling my body......." And for the first time in a long time... Delilah felt so ashamed of herself it was sickening.

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MADE BY MEGGSIEMOO OF OUT OF THE ASHES

[stuartpenbrook]

[atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f5f5f5; width: 440px; padding: 4px;, bTable] [STYLE=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 55px; color: d5d5d5; text-transform: lowercase; margin-top: -20px; letter-spacing: -5px; border-bottom: 2px solid #e4e4e4; line-height: 45px; width: 320px;]TICK TACK TICK TACK[/style] [STYLE=background: url(http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af58/lunakids/josh17-1.png); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: 3px solid #e4e4e4; float: right; padding: 3px; margin-top: -56px; ] [/style] [STYLE= font-family: arial; font-size: 70px; color:eaeaea; float: left; margin-top: -14px;]⚜[/style] [STYLE= text-align: justify; width: 250px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-style: italic; padding: 3px; color: c5c5c5;]"TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE KIMI DAKE AISHITERU SORE KIMOCHI WA KAWARANAI OH BOKURA NI WA KASANATTE KITA SUTEKI NA OMOIDE MO ARUKEDO KONO YONI ASUROSU GOSANAI KARA OOKINA OH SO"[/STYLE] [STYLE=background-color: eeeeee; text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; color: 909090; letter-spacing: 1px; border-bottom: 1px solid e6e6e6; line-height: 16px;]TO LIE I SHALL SING IT FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: ababab; font-style: italic;]NOTES ● keep it short pl0x ● LYRICS ● tick tack, u-kiss ● CREDITS ● rayah! of btn![/style] [STYLE=background-color: ebebeb; text-align: justify; padding: 3px; color: 888888; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px;] Stuart stood there as if she had just slapped him. He didn’t know what to stay. His heart bead and the blood rushed to his head, roaring in his ears and blocking out all sound. Her words echoed around his head, mocking him. Sally had done this. Sally had caused all of this. If the witch hadn’t… if she had just…. Stuart took a step back, stumbling almost…. This wasn’t all her fault. This was his fault. He had done this to her. If he had only told her he was planning on leaving his wife before. If he hadn’t planned on surprising her… laying in bed with her one night and simply saying ‘I’m never leaving again’ this would have never happened…. But right then. Looking at her with wide eyes…. He didn’t know what to say. Words escaped him. [/style]

[Delilah Jade Cross]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/58b4K.jpg);width: 500px; height: 450px;border: solid #000 5px; -moz-border-radius: 70px 5px 20px 5px; border: 2px solid #333;] The tears burst out of her again with a loud sob and she raised a hand to her face, turning around so she didn't have to look at him right now. She knew he'd hate her, she knew it, she could feel it in her bones, but the fact that the fact he moved away from her... that he gave up the fight and stepped back... though expected, it still killed her. She couldn't bare to see the look on his face, instead she just stood there, crying hard, her spare hand lifting to her chest and tears streaming down her face erratically as her body leaned forward. She wasn't thinking about the lack of dignity she had in this dress or anything else for that matter, her heart hurt so badly she felt like she couldn't breathe and that.... That was hard, yet still didn't compare to how hard it was thinking she'd have to let him go again.

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[/center]

MADE BY MEGGSIEMOO OF OUT OF THE ASHES

[stuartpenbrook]

[atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f5f5f5; width: 440px; padding: 4px;, bTable] [STYLE=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 55px; color: d5d5d5; text-transform: lowercase; margin-top: -20px; letter-spacing: -5px; border-bottom: 2px solid #e4e4e4; line-height: 45px; width: 320px;]TICK TACK TICK TACK[/style] [STYLE=background: url(http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af58/lunakids/josh17-1.png); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: 3px solid #e4e4e4; float: right; padding: 3px; margin-top: -56px; ] [/style] [STYLE= font-family: arial; font-size: 70px; color:eaeaea; float: left; margin-top: -14px;]⚜[/style] [STYLE= text-align: justify; width: 250px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-style: italic; padding: 3px; color: c5c5c5;]"TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE KIMI DAKE AISHITERU SORE KIMOCHI WA KAWARANAI OH BOKURA NI WA KASANATTE KITA SUTEKI NA OMOIDE MO ARUKEDO KONO YONI ASUROSU GOSANAI KARA OOKINA OH SO"[/STYLE] [STYLE=background-color: eeeeee; text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; color: 909090; letter-spacing: 1px; border-bottom: 1px solid e6e6e6; line-height: 16px;]TO LIE I SHALL SING IT FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: ababab; font-style: italic;]NOTES ● keep it short pl0x ● LYRICS ● tick tack, u-kiss ● CREDITS ● rayah! of btn![/style] [STYLE=background-color: ebebeb; text-align: justify; padding: 3px; color: 888888; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px;] No… no she was taking his silence the wrong way and her sobs were breaking a heart that had already shattered. Shaking his head, he moved towards her, and he scooped her up. He was scared that laying a hand on her shoulder… trying to hug her, she would pull away. He was lost for words but everyone always told him the actions spoke far louder, and so he scooped her up and cradled her against his chest, and gently pressed his lips against hers. "I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry we did this to you. I… I should have told you earlier I was leaving her. I should have made myself completely yours the moment I fell in love with you. I’m so sorry I ruined this so much for you." [/style]

[Delilah Jade Cross]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/58b4K.jpg);width: 500px; height: 450px;border: solid #000 5px; -moz-border-radius: 70px 5px 20px 5px; border: 2px solid #333;] That was about the last thing she expected but as Stuart scooped her up, Delilah held onto him, her hands moving to his jaw as he kissed her gently, content he could hold her and over the initial shock of his actions, though that wasn't to say she wasn't still flabbergasted because she was. She continued to sob, the tears coming down her face like it was raining from her eyes. Oh how she'd thank god for the rain right now, the way the sky cried always seemed to sooth her pain, but instead they got this foggy Boston night that seemed to grow colder by the minute. His words hit a nerve she'd long deemed dead. As he stopped talking she pulled her body tighter into him, burying her head into his neck and crying harder. There was part of her that was so happy that he didn't say 'I hate you and get out of my life' that it was unbelievable but there was so much pain striking its way through her body as he spoke that it was unbearable. He was telling her he should have done thing things she prayed day in, day out that he would do. There were so many times she let him walk out the front door only to collapse against it the moment he left her drive way. So many nights she tore herself apart at the idea that she had to sleep alone as he went back to her, and while it should have been easier, the more he started making excuses to spend the night, the harder it became, because she had to accept that he would never be hers when that was the thing that felt more perfect than anything she'd ever known. They conceived their son out of love, it wasn't some seedy and dirty affair. Maybe it seemed that way to others, and maybe that was how it started out, but they both tried so hard to stop it, it was like every time they convinced themselves it was wrong and they shouldn't do it anymore, they realized how much further they'd fallen. She loved the way he held her as she fell asleep a lot more than she ever loved the way he made love to her, and that was saying something, because she loved that so very much. She loved him so very much.

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MADE BY MEGGSIEMOO OF OUT OF THE ASHES

[stuartpenbrook]

[atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: f5f5f5; width: 440px; padding: 4px;, bTable] [STYLE=font-family: times new roman; font-size: 55px; color: d5d5d5; text-transform: lowercase; margin-top: -20px; letter-spacing: -5px; border-bottom: 2px solid #e4e4e4; line-height: 45px; width: 320px;]TICK TACK TICK TACK[/style] [STYLE=background: url(http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af58/lunakids/josh17-1.png); height: 100px; width: 100px; border: 3px solid #e4e4e4; float: right; padding: 3px; margin-top: -56px; ] [/style] [STYLE= font-family: arial; font-size: 70px; color:eaeaea; float: left; margin-top: -14px;]⚜[/style] [STYLE= text-align: justify; width: 250px; font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; line-height: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-style: italic; padding: 3px; color: c5c5c5;]"TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE TO LIE I SHALL BE HERE KIMI DAKE AISHITERU SORE KIMOCHI WA KAWARANAI OH BOKURA NI WA KASANATTE KITA SUTEKI NA OMOIDE MO ARUKEDO KONO YONI ASUROSU GOSANAI KARA OOKINA OH SO"[/STYLE] [STYLE=background-color: eeeeee; text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 11px; text-transform: lowercase; color: 909090; letter-spacing: 1px; border-bottom: 1px solid e6e6e6; line-height: 16px;]TO LIE I SHALL SING IT FOR YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; color: ababab; font-style: italic;]NOTES ● keep it short pl0x ● LYRICS ● tick tack, u-kiss ● CREDITS ● rayah! of btn![/style] [STYLE=background-color: ebebeb; text-align: justify; padding: 3px; color: 888888; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px;] He cradled her against him, holding her tight to his chest and started back home. He didn’t know where she was staying. He didn’t care. She was coming home with him to tonight, to sleep in his arms and be held. He didn’t care what she had done. He truly didn’t. He cared that he had driven her to it, that the path her life had taken was his fault. He would make this right. He would repair the wrongs he had wrought in his indecision. He would make her happy again. And so, he carried her, cradled into his chest, until they reached the tiny apartment and let them in, telling the babysitter goodnight and handing over the money for looking after their son. Then, still holding her to him, he crawled into bed with her, shoes and all, and just held her against him. [/style]